Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

i just found out i have herpes and i’m scared

Recommended Posts

i just found out i tested positive for type 1 & 2. i’m currently waiting to go in to another doctors office for a second opinion bc the first doctor didn’t really inform/educate me on any of this or tell me what to do. i feel so icky, sad, confused, hurt, angry,& so much more! i’m scared for my family & friends on what they may think or how they may feel about me. should i say something to them? i’m pretty good with secrets as i kept my childhood trauma to my self all these years. (i’m only 21). what can and can’t do sharing wise? i just really don’t about anything right now!! i haven’t had an appetite since i found out.( about three days ago i think) i haven’t had any type of symptoms.. i’m really just hoping for a miracle that some way some how it was a false positive. furthermore since i found out i feel like i have slight cramps but idk if it’s just phantom pains somehow bc i never had any type of symptoms or felt anyway before this. i just feel like everything is over for me. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment


First, please breathe. It is going to be okay. 

Second, you are not dirty, bad, ugly, or undeserving of love. You are clean, good, beautiful, and so so worthy of love and joy. I know that the voices of fear and stigma challenge these truths. But, love is the strongest force on the planet, and self-love can help us overcome anything!

You are clean and beautiful. And nothing can ever change that ❤️ especially not a common virus. 

I am a 22 year old female, and I have had herpes since I was 19. Please know you can still have a relationship and sex life with herpes. I promise! 

You mentioned you have childhood trauma. I am so so sorry that you experienced trauma. You did not deserve that, and I am sorry that you have had to hide it. I also have had trauma, and getting herpes reopened those wounds. Childhood trauma can make children feel guilty, bad, dirty, and like they deserved to be treated badly. Getting herpes can reawaken those feelings, and validate them. If this is something you are currently experiencing, please know that none of this was your fault. You aren't dirty or bad. Just as the trauma wasn't your fault, neither is getting HSV. And HSV, just as the way people have treated us, doesn't determine who we are. We are still a blessing. 

I am so sorry that the doctor didn't explain HSV to you! That isn't cool! Here is some information about herpes. I hope it helps!

HERPES SORES, OUTBREAKS, VIRAL SHEDDING: First, I wanted to ask if you have ever noticed sores. Herpes sores are little red bumps with a dimple in the center. They eventually may fill with a fluid, ooze, and then crust and scab over, and then heal. Sometimes people mistaken herpes sores for ingrown hairs or a rash. Typically, people feel tingling numbness or a shooting tingling pain in their legs, buttocks, or back, have a fever or flu like symptoms, are itchy or have irritated skin, and or other symptoms before they get an outbreak. These helpful prodrome symptoms actually are like a little warning preparation, telling you that an outbreak will be popping up soon since the virus is shedding(it is active). During these prodrome symptoms, someone should abstain from sex/physical intimacy and take their antivirals if they choose to do so. Antiviral medication helps reduce the severity of an outbreak, increase sore healing speed, and decrease overall risk of transmission. 

ASYMPTOMATIC VIRAL SHEDDING: Also, you can have asymptomatic outbreaks, meaning you do not show the prodrome symptoms before you have an outbreak. Asymptomatic folks can either have no prodrome symptoms and visual outbreaks, or have no prodrome symptoms and NO visual outbreaks. This means it is much harder to identify when you are most likely to transmit the virus to a partner. This is why many people with asymptomatic HSV, especially HSV-2 choose to take supressive medication. While some people take antivirals it during an outbreak, people on supressive antivirals take them every day to help decrease viral shedding and possible outbreaks. It doesn't prevent 100% of all outbreaks and shedding, but it can help many individuals. 

FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH & HERPES: You mentioned you were feeling crampy, which could be due to the stress, not eating the last three days, or hypothetically the herpes. The female genitals are so sensitive. Monitor your symptoms and if anything changes of the cramps worsen, contact your doctor. 

TESTING: Did you get a blood test?, And if so, was it an IgG or an IgM blood test? If you are worried there is a false positive, you can get tested again. However, it is best to wait 12+ weeks since the last time you had sex before you get the IgG blood test, as IgG antibodies gradually build up. The test only detects a positive with a high enough level of IgG antibodies. So, if you take the test too early before the antibodies build, you can get a false negative. 

I hope all this information helps and didn't overwhelm you. Please stay strong! You are not alone. We are all here to help you. I am praying for you! ❤️





Link to comment
  • mr_hopp changed the title to i just found out i have herpes and i’m scared

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...