Oral to genital HSV1 without visible outbreak and no oral sex?!?

[Lisa2021]

Hey ! I am so confused and would appreciate any words of wisdom …

I recently got out of a 7 year relationship - I haven’t slept with my ex since Jan (now Aug) and never had any H symptoms before. About 7 weeks ago I slept with a new partner , someone I have known as a friend for around 2 years. We’ve had sex like 5 times, after the most recent encounter I noticed an uncomfortable feeling down below around 3 days after - this feeling didn’t improve and I began to feel very unwell. Tired like I have never felt before , muscle aches, a headache that felt like I couldn’t lift my head off the pillow!! I was becoming increasingly sore down there and rang the doctor as I started to see some small blemishes . The doctor wouldn’t see me without a negative covid test so it was around 2/3 days before I got examined , over those days the blemishes got worse and SO painful, I couldn’t pass urine I couldn’t wear jeans or leggings . I’m a distance runner and train every day but I couldn’t stand the pain of underwear touching my genitals. 
when I finally saw the doctor he diagnosed me with Herpes just by sight. I felt like my life was over . 32 newly single and how will I ever meet someone now ?! Devastated is not even close to how I feel. 
I came home and panic bought 3 x IgG blood tests and took one myself , gave 1 to ex and 1 to new partner. 
my result came back hsv2 <0.500 neg / hsv1 0.188 neg … ( I know now I tested way too soon as this was about a week or so after , however it did get my ex off the hook as if it had come from him I would have antibodies by now- both his tests negative) 

new partner came back positive for Hsv1 (expected this as he gets coldsores but hasn’t had one for 2 years) / hsv2 <o.5 neg.

looking at those results I am *predicting* that I have somehow picked up HSV1 from new partner from his mouth to my genitals … however he has NEVER done oral sex on me and has NEVER had a visible coldsore since I have known him ?! Is it possible to pass it from mouth to genitals by fingers with no visible outbreak or is this far fetched?! Surely I’d have caught it on my mouth before genitals through skin to skin contact kissing ?! 
 

any ideas would help as I am waiting to re do blood test at 12 weeks and this is driving me mad !!

also , what does the hsv 1 result of 0.18 suggest ? Perhaps antibodies are building or does a small reading like that not really mean anything ?

 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi! 🙂 

First, breathe. You are going to be okay! Please know you are not alone. We are here to help and support you! ❤️ 

In regards to the symptoms you had combined with the fact your new partner is positive for HSV-1 creates a pretty good indication you have contracted herpes. Have no fear! HSV is a common virus. That's all. It doesn't mean you are dirty or bad. It just means you have something in common with a majority of other humans! 

You said he has not had any oral visible outbreaks in two years, and he did not give oral sex, so it seems it is possible the virus passed via genital-to-genital contact if he also has it genitally. It is uncommon for people to have the same herpes in two different spots, unless they contracted it in both areas at the same point in time (before they built up antibodies). People can contract HSV-1 on their genitals, and although it is rare to pass HSV-1 by genital-to-genital contact, it is possible. If he has never had a visibly outbreak, it is possible he asymptomatically sheds the virus (meaning when he is having an outbreak/the the virus is active and shedding, he does not get sores or symptoms like tingling, burning, itching, redness or bumps, fever, etc. 

In terms of passing the virus through fingers, it is possible, but less likely unless the person is having an active outbreak. It seems he gets active sores, so the fact that he didn't means either he was asymptomatic shedding, touched his mouth, then touched you. But, as you said... wouldn't this then make sense for you to also have symptoms at your mouth, since you kissed him? 

Do you know the age of when he started getting cold sores? If he's had it since childhood, it seems unlikely he would also have genital HSV-1. 

Also, yes, waiting the 12 weeks for blood antibodies is the best choice for a more accurate result. Your reading of IgG .18 indicates that you have a very very slight count of antibodies. As time goes on for someone with HSV-1, the number typically increases and then typically remains at that number for their entire life (although I think if someone has no outbreaks for an extremely long time the antibody count decreases). 

Also, your doctor diagnosed via identification of the sores. Did he take a swab? If not, that is okay! Swab tests only are really accurate for the first 48 hours a sore appears, and even then they are prone to human error (if an area with less of the virus is swabbed, it can produce a false positive).

Did the sores go through stages of healing; red and dimpled, form a head that then pops/oozes, then crusts over, scabs, and falls off, leaving new skin? 

Also, to help with the burning when you pee, you can put ice water in a spray bottle and mist it to help soothe the area. Other people pee while in the shower because the acid from urine burns the sores so badly. Lysine cream helps soothe sores and provide a buffer between the sores and clothing. Try to avoid tight clothes, and be kind to yourself.

This is not your fault! It will be okay. Your life is not over. You are good. You are clean. You are worthy of love and happiness. 

You can do this!

Sending blessings and prayers your way ❤️ 

Blessings,

Grace 

 

 

[Lisa2021]

Hi grace ! Thank you so much for the response , the great advice and also for the kind words ! Reading the posts on this forum has really helped me understand things a bit more over the past few days. 
I have found this all very helpful and quite comforting. 

My doctor didn’t take a swab , he just examined the sores and prescribed me 5 days of medication. After leaving his office  I immediately did some research and called him back to request a swap - he refused as he said it wasn’t appropriate as he had no doubt it was herpes. He said I’d need to go to the sexual health clinic for further testing if I wanted it. The sores had started to heal and I couldn’t get an appointment until September 8 and even that was just a telephone call from a nurse and she would decide if I needed to see a doctor face to face . Frustrating, but I decided it was pointless by then and I would just wait for the 12 week point to do my blood test. I don’t really doubt his diagnosis at this point though…

 
So the sores didn’t really look to me like they blistered and there wasn’t a scab or crust — they began as small bumps then became more red and “angry” looking ,then started to calm down and flatten , they faded to a darker red almost purple before they disappeared. they calmed down pretty quickly , the bumps started to appear on the Tuesday and by weekend they were dark red blotches and nearly healed . They were veryyy painful until they reached the “really red” stage then they started to become less painful. 

I have spoken to new partner  and he remembers getting coldsores as a teenager but doesn’t remember if he had them as a child. He does think it was before he became sexually actively but he is going to ask his mum if she remembers him having them as a child. your suggestion does seem to be the most realistic explanation though !

thank you so much once again ! Lisa 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi, Lisa! 🙂 

I am so happy the forum has provided help and support! You deserve to feel happy and supported during this time. 

It is SO frustrating when doctors refuse testing. The audacity to say, "Go to another clinic for testing because I'm not doing it." Like... excuse me but you are my doctor, sir. What the heck.

Regardless, yes, from your symptoms it does seem to be leaning towards herpes. I'm so sorry that the sores were painful! 😞 Did the medication help? If so, then it's likely herpes. 

It's great that he is being so understanding, and even asking his mother about when he had HSV! 

I hope you are feeling better! 🙂

Blessings,

Grace