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Scared and embarrassed about my HSV-2, I haven't told my bf of 4months.


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I came to this community seeking help and wisdom with my current situation. I already feel horrible and ashamed because of the stigma that comes with mentioning Genital Herpes. I've been dating my current boyfriend for four months, and I haven't told him about my condition. Before we starting having sex we told each other our tests results which were both good. My anxiety is through the roof, and I'm not sure what else to do or how to explain. He has gone to his doctor for his routine blood work for blood pressure and also asked for full std testing. I'm waiting to see what his results are. I did go to a lab a few days ago to confirm, and all came back clear except positive for HSV-2.

Im seeking prayers, help and advice. I know that I may get some backlash or harsh responses.

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Hello!

First, I am so sorry about your diagnosis. Having HSV, especially HSV-2, can come with such stigma. Remember that stigmas are societally constructed. They aren't facts. They are uneducated stereotypes and opinions. You are not those stigmas, not are you a mistake, or a dirty bad person. You are pure. You are whole. You are good. 

To clarify, how long have you known you've had HSV-2? before, during, or after the 4 months you've been with your current partner? 

Regardless, it is imperative you tell him. Love means honesty. Without honesty and respect, love cannot grow. Your partner needs to know, for his own health and wellbeing. I know it is scary to be honest about HSV, but we cannot control the responses of other. We can only control what we do and how we treat others. And, especially to someone you care about, you should treat them with respect and honesty. 

Also, you are so brave to share this with us, even though you fear receiving backlash (which I don't think would happen on here, folks are pretty chill). If you have been keeping this a secret since the beginning of this relationship, it might feel really scary to talk about it now. However, the sooner you talk to him about it, the better. Don't spend any more time holding this secret. Holding onto guilt is like holding on to a sack of potatoes: it holds us down, and eventually the potatoes get moldy and harm us and others. Heal your relationship! Talk to your partner. 

If you need advice on how to disclose HSV, please reach out, or check out the other posts on this forum.

The truth shall set you free!

Blessings,

Grace

 

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Thank you, I’ve had the discussion with him, and he took it ok from what I see. I scared him and caught by surprise, he is going to get tested and we will see where this this goes. I’m praying that, his overthinking doesn’t get the best of him. 

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