Is it wrong to wait after the first date to tell someone ur status?

[Alexus]

A girl told me earlier that, “getting to know them first”, leads to problems, and that they have a right to know RIGHT away. And you’ll never know when the right time will be, and if he falls for you quickly, & you’re searching for the right time, everything gets messed up. Honestly I’ve done it after I’ve know someone, because while it is important, I think it’s important to discuss not just my status, but for them to know theirs as well… sex isn’t always my priority  when getting to know someone either. Now I’m kinda hesitant to think there’s ppl out here who think it will ruin everything but not telling straight away. A first date isn’t even enough to cover everything imo anyway. 

[beihaigirl2004]

I personally never disclose on a first date. Why tell someone if you never plan to be intimate. Now if we were planning on getting intimate or I would. Why tell someone you just met? Clouds the judgement. I want someone to know me for me not for my herpes. Just my opinion. 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hello!! 

This is a great point of discussion. 

When I first got herpes, I disclosed really early on because I felt guilty about having herpes. Now, I don't find the need to disclose, because, as you and @beihaigirl2004 said, sex isn't my goal and I want someone to see for more than a potential sex partner. I have promised myself to get to really know someone before being vulnerable with them. Protect and respect yourself. Make sure someone is worthy of you before sharing your beautiful body with them ❤️ you deserving a loving and respectful relationship ❤️😶

Blessings,

Grace

[LoveTheMountains]

I'm pretty consistently a 3rd date discloser.  For a few reasons; 1) I need a few dates to decide if I even like the person enough to want to even spend more time with them (let alone sex!).  2) do I feel a connection enough to share personal health information or anything personal for that matter. and 3) usually by the 3rd date I can tell if I'm starting to feel genuinely interested in seeing where this goes.  I've never had anyone upset with me and always had really healthy positive encounters when I've disclosed.  I do feel like waiting much longer would not be fair. But similarly I also feel like going on more than 3 dates when I'm not sure if I really like the person is fair either. (I've done this twice with guys who were amazing catches and I just didn't feel anything but was too afraid to end it right away thinking maaaybe if I go on enough dates I'll start to feel something. ) Ugg...those ended badly/sadly and I feel terrible for letting the dating go on so long and that is where I learned to pull the plug after 3 dates if I'm not feeling the slightest spark.  I have disclosed somewhere during date 1 a few times when there is crazy physical chemistry between the 2 of us and the person is moving really fast (and I'm tempted to as well).  I figure in those situations I might as well get it over with right away because its too easy to get carried away in the moment!

[Flowerteacher55]

Hello, @LoveTheMountains!

I hope you are well.

I totally agree with what you said. I actually just disclosed to someone (through test, not preferred, but it's okay, and it was the most practical since he's in the Marines!) For those who have read my previous disclosure post about disclosing to a Marine, this is a new Marine man. It seems I gravitate towards Marines?! So funny 😂.

Anyways, I explained it to him, and he asked "Can you still have sex?" Uh, yes. And then I explained to him more and he asked rather bluntly, "So we can still f**k?" Honestly I was kind of offended. Like what the heck you big doofus, could you be any more rude? I responded, "Yes, we could still have intercourse." Like dude I just told you something so emotionally heavy and that's your question? I know he didn't mean it to be offensive but seriously... what a moron. 

Anyways, we will see where this goes. Wish me luck, friends! ❤️ 

Blessings,

Grace