It’s been 1 week since diagnosed

[ConscienceEye_]

Hello. I recently signed up to this forum to get support. I’m not dealing with this well at all. I went in for a normal Pap smear and last week on Friday I was told I have Hsv1&2…. I’m so confused. My ex is lying to me about everything or I smoked a blunt with the wrong person. I don’t know who to believed and I’m so depressed. I’m constantly washing my hand and use hand sanitizer every time I touch my face. I’m scared for my child honestly. I feel like I failed him and I’m praying he is being spared. I don’t really have any interactions with him but I don’t let him lay on my pillow anymore. I keep my toothbrush away from him. My towels are no longer near him. I feel like I’m taking this way more serious than I did with Covid and I’m so sad. I’m only 26 and I don’t know where I got it from. I literally been crying like every hour every day . My mind is so screwed . I feel like the world is against me. I told my ex that I have and he said he would get tested then lied about even having a doctor appointment. I don’t think he is going to get tested at all because he doesn’t want to know? It’s not my choice but I feel like i need this to know if he is positive or now especially since he has his own family . I look at everything different now. I’m beyond sad, I feel like Kms without actually doing it. How am I suppose to deal with this? I don’t think I will ever have my happy ending now, I don’t feel accepted by society, I feel so dirty , I don’t think I can have sex for over a year . How did you guys handle the beginning part? I’m actually crying now. 

[queenb22]

Hey dear. I just found out I have HSV1 yesterday. I have my moments. I wake up through the night with bad anxiety. It's always running through my mind. I believe my boyfriend had a cold sore awhile back and when he performed down there, I believe that is when I originally contracted it. You are not dirty. This can happen to absolutely anyone. I felt that way at first but then when I got on here and joined and read a lot of people's stories, it makes it a little easier to cope with. I believe as time goes by, it will get easier. I see a lot of people on here that have disclosed in relationships and their partners are very accepting. Like they say, it's a skin condition. It just happens to be a skin condition that can be down there. I know it's hard to not want to give up. Believe me. I keep telling myself, things can always be worse. Yes it does suck. A lot. But it happens to more people than you would think. I have read that 1 in every 6 people may have it I think. I have been researching since I started getting an outbreak. Keep your head up.

[Flowerteacher55]

@ConscienceEye_ Hello, my friend! 

I am sending you positive energy ❤️

I am running out the door right now, but I will take time to respond soon! 

Hang in there ❤️ You are a warrior! 🌻

@queenb22 Your kindness and support is wonderful ☺️ Stay well!! 

Blessings to you both,

Grace

[Flowerteacher55]

@ConscienceEye_

Hello ❤️

Sorry for the late response. 

Please know you are not bad. You are not dirty. You are not contaminated. You are good. You are clean. You are pure. You are a blessing who is worthy of love and respect, from others and from yourself. 

I know the pain you are feeling is so heavy. You have been placed in a tunnel. But, there is a light of peace and acceptance and a happy life at the end. And the light isn't the illusion, the tunnel is!!  

As someone with OCD, I understand the fear of spreading it to other parts of the body. But, remember, logic beats fear. A lot of times, we manifest our guilt and shame in irrational fears to cope. Like we feel emotionally dirty and guilty so we try and compensate by trying so so so hard to not pass it to ourselves or our children.

You cannot give it to yourself; you have antibodies. For right now, if this is your first primary outbreak, you could spread it to yourself since you haven't yet built up sufficient antibodies, but if this is a secondary outbreak or you've gotten a blood test that Was an IgG, you are perfectly safe ❤️. 

I know it feels like your life is over, but it isn't. Not at all! Your son needs you. The world needs you. HSV is a common virus. That's it. It may feel like so much more than that especially since it's from your ex. You are not tainted; you are pure. You are a mama bear warrior, you are strong! 🐻❤️

We are all here for you. Please reach out if you need any help. And remember, if you ever feel like you would harm yourself, here is the national helpline: 800-273-8255, or, text HOME to 741741. 

I am sending you prayers and blessings! 🌻🌄❤️💛 Feel free to direct message if you need to!

Things will get better. I promise. We are here for you every step of the way.

Blessings,

Grace