Outbreak…. Different spot?

[valleydecember217]

Hi friends! Hope you are all doing well and in good spirits:) I was diagnosed 3 months ago, I had my first outbreak in July and it was absolutely miserable - super painful. I was worried every outbreak would be like that and I would get outbreaks every month. Thankfully that’s not the case or hasn’t been and hoping it won’t be. I had my second outbreak(I think?) in September. I was sick with flu like symptoms, I’m not sure if this was a symptom of my outbreak or what caused me to have an outbreak (weakened immune system) either way I figured it played a part. Other than flu like symptoms I really had no symptoms or anything besides a blister/sore. It was not painful I honestly wouldn’t have even noticed if I didn’t check myself out everyday like I do just to make sure everything is okay down there(I have HSV2 genital) okay let me just get to the point. My outbreak was in a different spot then my first, it was in the same region but my first outbreak was on the right side closer to my vaginal opening and the second outbreak it was on my left side on my labia. It looked like a blister/sore so I’m almost certain it was an outbreak. I’m a bit confused though as I thought your outbreak will occur in the same spot? Or am I wrong? I have been having sex and my partner does know that I am HSV positive, he doesn’t seem to care. Could this be because I’ve been having sex? We have been having unprotected sex, we do not use condoms everytime. I also do not take any medications unless I know I’m having an outbreak. I have been cautious to wait several days after an outbreak has cleared to have sex, I’ve been waiting 3-4 weeks just to be safe. I’ve been kind of trying to ignore this and not think to much about it but it worries me that maybe he got it?? I don’t know. He doesn’t care and doesn’t like to talk about it but I would hate myself if I gave it to him. Thoughts??? 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi!! 

I hope you are doing well besides the worries. It will be okay! Your worries and questions are valid and we are all here to help! ☺️

In terms of outbreak location, future outbreaks (non-primary/all post-first outbreaks) will basically occur in the same region. You are totally correct, saying "same spot" is misleading and technically incorrect, yet that is how we commonly explain it! So, they can happen in the same REGION. The fact that your first outbreak was near the opening versus the second one closer to the labia is perfectly typical. Outbreaks tend to occur along the same neuropathways, as the HSV lives in the root ganglia (nerve bundle) at the base of the spine that branches out like a tree to the buttocks, lower back, groin region, etc. 

It's great that you are so considerate and careful about waiting to be physically intimate until you are sure sores have healed. 3-4 weeks is super duper safe! 2 weeks would also be okay, but it's important to be comfortable. If you know you are going to be a nervous wreck if you don't wait that third week, then waiting an extra week is fine. Part of being new to H is learning from your body; how it heals, the speed it heals at, prodrome symptoms, the average length of outbreaks, the average number of outbreaks per month or per year, etc.  It's great how you noticed some prodrome symptoms of flu like symptoms. The body's warning sign to abstain from intimacy is prodrome, and the messages our body sends us helps us (and our partner(s)) stay well ☺️. 

Your partner doesn't mind the H, and that's okay. We can't control how other people feel or think. It might seem scary because you're like "how do you NOT care? I care! I would give it to you! That would be terrible!" But, if your partner sees H for the common virus it is, that's wonderful. You aren't H, and H isn't you. It's just a part of the human experience, and love is WAY stronger than H. That being said, if you ever feel the need to talk about it but your partner doesn't like talking about, then you can just ask them to listen; often times people don't like talking about something because they feel frustrated that they can't do anything to solve the problem. But, you can gently ask your partner to just listen and support you, even if it may not be an ideal topic. And of course, you can bring all questions and comments to the forum, too! ☺️

I hope this helps ❤️

Stay strong. Remember that you are a beautiful human! 

Sending blessings your way 🌄!

-- Grace