Freaking out

[Misunderstoodlady]

I was diagnosed in July with hsv2 and began taking antivirals right away, I do take them daily but sometimes I do skip days when I don’t believe it is necessary, but for the most part I take them everyday. Recently I have been sexually active again with someone who does not have hsv. We had like 4 days straight of multiple rounds of unprotected rough intercourse. He knows my situation but I am still scared I may have passed something along as I believe I am having a mild outbreak. Before intercourse I of course made sure I was not having an outbreak and was taking my meds but now a few days after sex I am having Severe itching, very dry patches and swollen vag, small odor. I Didn’t have any tingling or any other prodrome symptoms that I know of yet I don’t have any open sores but do see a rash and maybe a few bumps (not ulcers) after the fact but I also shaved so I’m wondering if it could be razor bumps or a reaction to shaving and intercourse both? I’m freaking out because I am sure I was all clear before we began the intercourses but I have no idea if I may have passed it along  to him…. I read that there is a higher chance of a man passing it along to a woman (hence how I got it) than a woman passing it along to a man!? I’m freaked out because I do not want to go through this every-time I decide to have intercourse. Also he is uncircumcised so I’m wondering how that may play a role… if anybody can Please help! 😕

[Flowerteacher55]

Hello! 

First, just breathe. It will be okay! ❤️

It's great that you have met someone! It can be really scary however, as there is a fear of passing it on to them. But, you did your part; you take antivirals, you were honest and told him, and you are aware of your body. 

Most likely, the intimacy caused friction, which caused you to experience the symptoms you are having. The vaginal environment is really sensitive in general, and new sex partners, the fact that fluids are moving around, new/foreign 'parts', and the fact that the vagina is close in proximity to the anus (bacteria from here can cause UTIs and bladder infections when they enter the vagina) all can cause swelling and just general changes. Plus, rough intercourse that has occurred multiple times for multiple days definitely can cause just general discomfort. All the stress to the area can cause outbreaks to occur, especially from friction, which can irritate the skin and cause outbreaks. 

What you can do is explain to him that all the recent intimacy has caused some issues down there (normal for vaginas, anyways) but mention that you may be experiencing an outbreak. So, what he can do is monitor his own symptoms. For the meantime, don't have sex until all the symptoms have cleared. 

Also, yes, it is more common for a penis to pass HSV to a vagina than it is for a vagina to pass HSV to a penis. This is because the vagina has more accessible mucous membranes than a penis does. 

In regards to him being uncircumcised... I have never thought about that as a potential variable in contracting or passing HSV! That's actually really interesting. I am going to research this and get back to you! ❤️ 

Also, because this is a new partner, you both can get tested with a general STI pannel, just for extra safety and respect ❤️ Both of your healths matter!!

Blessings,

Grace

[Misunderstoodlady]

Thankyou so much! You have eased my worries in a way but I am for-sure gonna make sure he monitors any symptoms if they come along and we will not be doing anything until my symptoms clear. We will absolutely be using condoms next time and not so rough. It just feels horrible thinking I may have possibly done the same thing that was done to me to someone I am starting to care for. Dealing with this is by no means easy when it comes to dating and finding someone new. I am so grateful for this forum and community! One more quick question is there anything else I can do or any remedy’s I can try to lessen transmission more or possible outbreaks after intercourse? 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi!

Yay, I am so happy that you are feeling less stressed and that the forum helps you! 🙂 

In regards to doing things to keep yourself and your partner safe and well during sex, you can use condoms (internal or external), and if you are planning on using any sex toys, you can clean them if they are shared toys. Honestly, it's good to clean those even if you don't have HSV, since they are going in/on very sensitive parts of the body. If you or him wants to wash their hands after sex, that's cool too, whatever makes you both feel safe and sound ❤️

Oh my gosh... now that I am thinking about it, I once was seeing someone who used to be so spazzy and announce that he had to wash his hands after we were intimate and he touched me in certain places, and it made me feel kinda bad. like, Dude... I get that you are worried, but could you not be so rude about it? Chill! Like what the heck 😂

To prevent irritations post-intimacy, make sure that the area isn't too dry; lubricant helps reduce friction that could irritate skin and hypothetically cause outbreaks or basic skin irritation. If your skin feels better taking a cool or warm shower after sex, that's totally fine, too. And, showering is something both people can do, as a romantic bonding sort of thing.  

I hope this helps! 

Stay well!

Blessings,

Grace

  

[Misunderstoodlady]

Thankyou so, so, so much! You are truly a life saver! ❤️