First rejection

[jimbabwe92]

Hey everyone,

So I experienced my first rejection today. I've had two successful disclosures before so this was a bit of a surprise. Although I also guess it's kind of expected. 

Anyway, I'm bummed of course but overall doing okay. After the rejection we actually had a really good conversation. And it definitely gave me closure.  

I don't blame her. It's just frustrating because even after addressing all her fears and explaining she is at risk anyway, it's still a no. I'm sure many of you have been in the same boat. 

But here's the catch. I asked her how she would feel if I kept pursuing her. And she never really gave me a hard no. Said "well I don't want to say it could never happen". Told me I could still hit her up when I'm in her area. 

I really like this girl and we have such good chemistry it's kind of a shame something as insignificant as herpes can get in the way. So what do I people? Keep chasing or just move on? 

Help me out lol 

 

 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hello!!

First, I am sorry about the situation. Of course it hurts, event when we rationally know it isn't the end of the world. Our emotional brain is like "ouch, I'm a loser," and our local brain is like, "It's okay! This doesn't mean I'm bad or dirty at all!"

In terms of continuing to pursue her, I honestly just don't know. I mean, she said the herpes was a deal breaker, but says it's okay to hit her up. Perhaps she likes the attention but is just stringing you along, or she could be thinking "well maybe if he sticks around and I get to know him better, the herpes isn't such a deal breaker." Regardless, it is very confusing to give someone such mixed signals, and that can cause even more emotional confusion and sadness! 

I would say, it seems like this person may not know what they want. You could stay friends, but keep it friendly. If you pursue and she doesn't pursue back, it'll leave you feeling hurt. And, it'll just be confusing! Confusing 'always-guessing' what something is can exhausting and emotionally draining. 

Remember, you are worthy of someone who accepts you and doesn't give such confusing signals. If you want more clarity, feel free to ask her. However, I just don't think it is very kind to tell someone that there is a deal breaker and then tell the person that they wouldn't mind if the other person kept pursuing them. It's just not cool!! 

I hope this helps. Stay well and hold your head high!! 

Blessings,

Grace 

[jimbabwe92]

Thank you!!