Common sexual activities for couples with Herpes?

[Joe11]

Hsv2, with daily med supression. 
 

What are some common sexual activities amongst couples with hsv2?  I’m in a new relationship and wonder what some lower risk options are for intimacy?  

I have Hsv2 and my partner does not.  We’d like to find some lower risk activities as a starting point while she gets comfortable with the idea of hsv2. 
 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hello! 

I hope you and your partner are well! 

It's great you care about your partners safety and comfort. The daily suppression helps reduce risk, so that is great! Are you symptomatic or asymptomatic? 

Physical intimacy is so much more than just penetrative sex with genitals. 

Using sex toys made out of body-safe, non-toxic, washable/sterilizable silicone are an idea. Make sure you keep you for anal areas separate from vaginal, as using the same toy for both areas can cause UTIs and/or yeast infections for those with vaginas. 

In terms or oral sex, there are pieces of thin latex called dental dams that can be used to help prevent the spread of STIs. Also, oral sex can be preformed with the use of a condom (hence why flavored condoms exist!).

Also, if you both would like to try sex, condoms, both internal and external, can provide some safety, too. 

Also, physical intimacy is more than just genitals! Sensual touch can be felt in so many areas, such as the neck or chest. Massages are a great way to connect with a partner and get to know their body through gentle touch. 

And of course, although there is always a risk of transmission, it can be greatly reduced with precautions and open communication. 

Stay safe and well! If she has any questions or concerns about being with someone with HSV-2, she can totally check out this website or ask questions here! 

Stay well,

Grace

 

[Cem160]

This is one of those topics that depresses me so much. I want a full sex life, not to be restricted because I'm a carrier (asymptomatic) for this stupid virus. I wish I was a dishonest person and could lie about this, I am truly jealous of everyone who chooses not to disclose. It is a brutally cruel and unfair situation on every level.

[DeMar]

On 12/20/2021 at 5:17 AM, Cem160 said:

This is one of those topics that depresses me so much. I want a full sex life, not to be restricted because I'm a carrier (asymptomatic) for this stupid virus. I wish I was a dishonest person and could lie about this, I am truly jealous of everyone who chooses not to disclose. It is a brutally cruel and unfair situation on every level.

Then you are also one of the world's unsung heroes. I am like you. I'm a carrier and asymptomatic, and I will not lie to a partner and risk infecting them.

I am lucky as my partner and I are still together after the shock of a positive result (me, not her) and we are moving forward together as a couple. We will use protection, and I will use antivirals, and I will be sensitive to her anxiety about this but we should have a fairly normal sex life. And when (not if) a cure comes in the years to come we will be freer again.
It's not been an easy road for us but we're still going and hopefully we will be for the rest of our lives.

I hope that gives you some hope. Take care.

[Flowerteacher55]

@Cem160 Hello,

I am so sorry you have been struggling. Trust me, honesty is always the best policy. Ethics drive our actions, and when we make conscious, ethical choices we are being part of the positive change this world needs, and we are working to make HSV a stigma-free conservation topic and stigma-free virus! So, kudos to you for being an honest person. 

Disclosing may seem scary, but more often than not (at least in my experience) the person we disclose to is grateful for our honesty. I have had numerous people thank me for telling them, whether the relationship worked out or never went anywhere at all. 

Hold your head high. You live with honesty and integrity, and that is something to be proud of! The right person will appreciate your honesty and never ever make you feel bad or unworthy of love or acceptance just because of a common virus. 

Stay strong! We are all here for you. 

Sending positive and healing blessings your way 🦋

- grace

[Flowerteacher55]

@DeMar Hello,

It's great to hear you and your partner are together and are making everything work. Thank you for sharing this positive hopeful story with us. It definitely helps us all see that love and togetherness IS possible. 

Stay well! 

[Sumshine]

My late husband of 26 years (25 married and one living together) and I chose to use a condom during intercorse (totally his choice) and nothing while doing oral sex. It worked absolutely perfect for us. I went on anti viral about 8 years before he passed and we used nothing after that. We had a great sex life and he never aquired H from me. We never felt cheated or any less intimate doing it how we chose to. It's so rare to pass it orally, so we rolled with that 90% of the time!

[DeMar]

This is great to read Sumshine.
I am a positive male and it terrifies me to pass it on to her. I ready condoms offer  even more protection from male to female so I am scared but hopeful. We will be going the same system as you.
Thanks for sharing.