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Diagnosed 10+ yrs ago - nothing since


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Hello all! I had my first outbreak over 10 years ago and haven't had anything else since. I have also had multiple partners since and luckily haven't passed it to anyone (to my knowledge). I am curious, is anyone else in my boat? I find it surprising that I haven't had anything else since the first outbreak. I also feel extremely lucky to have not passed this on to anyone else. I often find myself fantasizing that maybe my diagnosis was wrong, but I know it is just a fantasy. I just find my circumstances so strange.

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Hello!

I hope you are well! 

Thanks for reaching out. You aren't alone, I'm sure! 

There are many folks who never get outbreaks. I have GSV-1 and have had it for about three-ish years and have only had about three outbreaks. Everyone's body is different, and everyone has different triggers that cause outbreaks to occur. 

It's wonderful you haven't passed it to anyone. Please know that even if you did, it isn't your fault. As long as you are honest in the beginning and let them know the risks, and they consent to everything, and make sure not to be intimate when you have an outbreak or prodrome symptoms, then you are doing your duty. 

You are not bad or dirty or unlovable.  You are good. You are pure. You are worthy of love and respect and happiness!

I hope this helps 🙂!!

Blessings,

grace

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Grace, thank you.

I am recently divorced (Aug. 2020). I dated someone I already knew last year and it didn't work out. Honestly, everyone I have been with since being diagnosed I already knew and felt comfortable disclosing my status with them.

Now I have been talking to a guy for two months. We have only met in person once. I feel extremely anxious about telling him. I have no idea when the appropriate time is or what to even say.

I have not been met with rejection before, but I chalk that up to the fact that all the people I have told and been intimate with already knew me and had some sort of relationship with me. This guy is essentially a total stranger. I am trying to put it off for as long as I can so maybe he will fall for my personality and this won't be a big deal. However, I don't want him to feel like I have wasted his time and kept this secret from him. I could just be in my own head about it.

I really like this guy and don't want to screw up any possibility of an actual relationship.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

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Hello, 

I’m new to the forum but not new to the HSV dilemmas that occur. 
If you want to be with this person, you should disclose it to him. It is ethically and morally right to do this. Unfortunately, the person you received it from didn’t seem to have the same values or they would have told you. It is possible they didn’t know they had it but that’s another discussion in itself. 
Rejection from potential partners is extremely painful in my experience. Personally, I will tell you that I have been rejected because of it and the rejection nearly destroyed me. It has been many years since that time but it still hurts even today if I have met someone who I would like to be more than friends with and they reject me. 
Maybe you are stronger and can overcome this. It’s always in your best interest to disclose to anyone you choose to have sex with. 

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Hello! @Lotusblossom

I hope you are well, and welcome to the forum! 🙂 

Ethical and moral responsibilities are SO essential to being a good person, and to being respectful of other's freewill to choose. Plus, disclosing is something that should be as easy as taking a breath (it isn't though, because of societal pressures and stigma and fears). We have nothing to be ashamed of when we disclose! ❤️ And the right person will respond with respect and kindness and acceptance! Someone who doesn't isn't someone deserving of you in the first place! Their loss! 

Blessings,

grace

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