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so, recently i found out that a partner i was sexual with twice(only oral) has ghsv. i told him that it was fine and that i was okay with it. i tried to be as understanding as possible considering the stigma around it especially ghsv. i can’t remember the last time we were sexual but it was around 5-6ish months ago.

i just feel very hurt because he’s just now telling me, i understand he was probably nervous or insecure but it definitely changes things for me and i can’t help how i feel.

with all that being said, i’ve been very sick with flu symptoms this whole month, it’s been accompanied with headache and cough and runny nose which is why i’m confused as if i’ve been infected or not and it’s just now presenting. my lower body has been killing but no outbreak or anything. it doesn’t burn to pee, no tingling sensation or anything like that. just body aches.

if it even matters , he didn’t appear to have any open cuts or wounds when i did perform oral on him. i’m not sure if he’s taking any antiviral medication at all either but i’m assuming he’s not. 

im just paranoid and very scared, i know it’s not the end of the world though. i made an appointment to be checked out this upcoming week, so hopefully i can gain answers.

any advice or motivation would be appreciated. 

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Please know that everything will be okay. You are not alone and you will make it through this!

I am so sorry that you are facing this. Did he know he had it then? Or did he just find out and then he told you? If he knew when you were intimate, that's just not okay. In this case, it is not right that the person was not honest. It's great that they confessed, but still, this discussion should have happened before you both were intimate. You deserve honesty and respect. 

Do you know which type of GHSV he has? Type 1 or Type 2? 

In good news 🙂 ... since you were last active 5-6 months ago with this person, it is unlikely that you would just be having your primary outbreak now! 

Primary outbreaks typically occur within a few days to about a week and half after exposure, and they usually include flu-like symptoms. However, you are experiencing these symptoms 5-6 months later, so it could be a coincidence! You may be coming down with the flu or a cold. 

When you go to the doctor, you could get blood work done (an IgG test) to see if you have HSV antibodies. However, if you get cold sores/fever blisters, you would likely come back positive for oral HSV-1 (2/3 of the world has this, it's okay! 🙂). 

Just know that it is really unlikely that you contracted this from him, since the time frame is super far apart and a primary outbreak wouldn't occur this far away from the exposure date. Monitor symptoms, take care of yourself, and be kind to yourself! ❤️ 

We are here for you if you have any other questions! 

Sending happy healthy blessings your way! 🙂 






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