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Trying to guage

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I 'm trying to evaluate the chances of transmission etc.

I am hsv2 + (20 years I think) and no outbreaks that I'm aware of.

My SO is hsv2 -, so my main concern is passing it on to her. She knows I have HSV and we are managing that.

We've been a long distance couple for 2 years. She is an amazing woman, we have an amazing connection and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She feels the same.

Because of covid we spent a couple of weeks together last year and recently spent 3 months together.  I had valacyclovir daily but other than that we didn't use protection (condoms). At one point I thought I may have had an out break (3 red spots together on the head of my penis, no blisters. Disappeared after about 2 days) so we stopped sex for a week to be safe.
She didn't get hsv2. Horaay.
We're long distance again now and suddenly she has become very anxious about the hsv risk and wants to break up.  I am thinking that if we just had 3 intense months together and there was no transmission then the level of risk must be very low. Especially if we now added condoms to the mix.

I know there's no guarantees but how would others interpret this in terms of risk?

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I am so sorry about the sudden block in your relationship. Good news is, I think you can work through it! 🥰

It's great that you have both spent so much time together and have expressed how much you care about one another and want to spend your lives together. 

Did you ask her what changed her mind or caused her to suddenly feel fearful? Maybe she read something online, talked to a doctor or family member or friend, or something else? 

It's unusual that she randomly decided this; it's likely something occured that caused her to have this sudden fear and reaction. 

Communication is such an essential tool for relationship health. Ask her if there is a time when you could talk on video chat and really unpack her worries and see if there's anything else that could be prompting her to want to break up. 

I'm praying for you both! 


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Thank you Grace, We spoke last night and we are back on track. She said the hsv isssue was more of an excuse for her overwhelming anxiety, which had other motivating factors. LDRs are very difficult in the best of times, add hsv and covid to the mix and it's amazing we made it this far lol.

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