Lost, Depressed and Desperate

[Maddy]

Hi Everyone,

In March 2021, I meet a friend and he introduced me to someone, I was ailing from a broken relationship and grieving my father's death at the same time. Seems like an emotional roller coaster at that time. I gave into the temptation of getting physical with someone who's status I didn't know. A few days later I developed fever and bad sore throat for which I visited my GP and got treatment, It was so bad that I had to see an ENT and get my throat in order (I do not know why I am saying this but I need to get it off). The ENT got the meds going for me and I started feeling better however, I noticed that I had bumps on my groin and my chin. I usually have bumps as I have hair follicles issue and I am used to seeing fluid filled bumps. In this case It was horrible, So I had to see a dermatologist. I did an online consult and the dermatologist saw what I had and prescribed me antibiotics. The blisters didn’t fade so I had to go for an in person visit. This new doc just gave me acyclovir for 7 days and the blisters went away. I was so happy. What he didn’t tell me was to get tested. So with my improved condition I was happy. I took the Covid 19 shot in May 2021 followed by another Shot in August 2021. I was not experiencing any outbreaks during this time so I was happy. In September I had something on my Chin and I started research google (Which is scary!) and found that I may have Herpes. So with my own judgment I went to a Pathology lab in October 2021 and got my testing done. I finally got the result and there it was HSV 1 & 2 IGG positive IGM Negative. The number was more than 8 which is a sign that my body has made antibodies. I was scared like hell so contacted sexologist and they confirmed that this is positive however, they said that it is past infection. I was continuing to get outbreaks however, I never took medications. The outbreaks would subside in a 2 -3days. Fast forward to Jan 2022 and I was preparing from my test and I saw that I am getting an OB and then I started Acyclovir as my previous Dermatologist had prescribed 400 mg three time a day for 7 days. With this the OB just disappeared, however it started coming back within a few days.

Jan 2022 –OB (Took acyclovir)

Feb 2022- OB (Took acyclovir)

Mar 2022- OB (Took acyclovir)

May 2022 2^nd Week - OB (Took acyclovir)

May 2022 4^th Week - OB (Took acyclovir)

June 2022 2^nd Week - OB (Took acyclovir)

June 2022 4^th Week- OB (Took acyclovir for 10 days based on a recommendation of a sexologist)

Coming to July 2022, I had none, Then in August 2022. I saw a small bump on my lip which went away in 2 days and then today on my groin in the penis region I can see very small blisters formed and broken as well. Now the point of telling you all this is that I have started seeing regular outbreaks since Jan 2022. I was assuming that the OB’s decrease over time however, I my case they seem to have increased since my first OB in March 2021.

I am going to see a dermatologist soon. However the scary part is that the OB have increased They don’t seem to be severe but yes the number has increased. I am scared and really.

I am married and I just feel that my live is over. I don’t know if I ever will be physical with my wife ever. I know I have to disclose, however since my Infection in March 2021, I have never been physical with her at all. I do not even allow anyone to touch me because I fear I may pass on the virus to them. I just want to become a recluse and this is mentally affecting me. I don’t know what I am asking here from the community or where do I want to go with this. Feeling very down don’t know what to do from here.  

 

Here is my test results Since October 2021

1.      9^th October 2021         IGG Antibody to HSV I &II - 8.98,  IGM Antibody to HSV I &II-0.54

 

2.      3^rd March 2022           Herpes Simplex (1 & 2) IGG -3.7, Herpes Simplex (1 & 2) IGM- 0.71

 

3.      5^th May 2022               Herpes Simplex Virus II IGG- 1.63 , Herpes Simplex Virus II IGM- 0.16

 

4.      20^th June 2022             Herpes Simplex Virus II IGG -1.26, Herpes Simplex Virus II IGM-0.75,  Herpes Simplex Virus I IGG -  0.20, Herpes Simplex Virus I IGM - 0.07

 

5.      22^nd June 2022             Herpes Simplex Virus II IGG-1.45, Herpes Simplex Virus II IGM- 0.21, Herpes Simplex Virus I IGG -1.33, Herpes Simplex Virus I IGM- 0.28

(Reference :  Negative:< 0.9,  Borderline: 0.9-1.1,  Positive: >1.1 )

                                   

 

 

 

 

 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hello, 

I am so sorry that you've been experiencing such emotional and physical pain. Please know you are not alone and we are here to help. 

You are not a danger to your wife or others. You are not unwanted. You are not dirty. You are safe. You are wanted. You are worthy of love and respect. 

In regards to your experience with doctors, I am so sorry that the doctor you saw didn't tell you this may be herpes and instead just gave you antivirals. I am honestly shocked that they didn't explain that this could be herpes! That is just negligent. When you had the fever and sore throat, it is possible you were having your primary outbreak and those were the first symptoms, or it is possible you had two things at once (maybe a bacterial infection of the throat and you contracted HSV). 

The spot that you noticed on your chin could have been a pimple or ingrown hair. Oral herpes usually occurs in the nose or mouth area (since HSV likes mucous membranes). 

Your HSV test results: did the numbers differentiate for HSV 1 and HSV 2? Usually a test result says two sets of numbers for each test type (IGG and IGM). So it would have two numbers for each; for example IGG: HSV1 1.5  HSV II .06. Or did your test just group them together and give one number? 

Many people have HSV-1, and many people have had it since childhood in the form of cold sores. It is possible you've had HSV-1 even before your intimate encounter with the person. It is also possible that you contracted HSV1 and HSV-2 from this person, or just HSV-2. 

Please know that it takes a little bit of time for the body to get used to having HSV. Also, different things could be triggering your outbreaks. Since HSV is neurological, stress (both emotional and physical) have the ability to potentially trigger an outbreak. Illness, heavy lifting, drinking alcohol, injury, emotional stress, and other neurological-related triggers have the potential to trigger outbreaks. You could keep a log of what happened the day before an outbreak, and what seems to help them (ice or heat, antivirals, lysine cream, etc). When you go to see the dermatologist or a neurologist, you can provide this log as data for the doctor. 🙂 

Please know you are not a danger to your wife or others. HSV is spread via skin to skin contact with the impacted area. If you aren't having any prodrome symptoms (symptoms before an outbreak such as tingling, itching, redness, bumps, etc) or an active outbreak, you should be fine to be intimate with your wife or kiss her, and if you are still worried you could take suppressive medication to help reduce the risk of passing it to her. Although the virus is potentially always shedding and the risk is there, condoms and the use of suppressive medication significantly reduces the risk of transmission from a man to woman.

What is difficult is that you don't exactly know where your HSV is; is it just genital? or is it also oral? Also, did they ever swab the sore on your chin or the genital sores? This would help you know exactly which type of HSV you have and where it is located.

However, you should talk to her about this diagnosis. You deserve support, and I am sure she wouldn't want you to be handling this on your own. Love is the strongest force on the planet, and HSV doesn't have the power to break it, trust me! 🙂 

Also, avoid going down the google rabbit hole. It can be very scary, you are totally right! Instead, stick to educational platforms like this one, or just consult a legitimate doctor. 

Stay kind to yourself and stay well. You will get through this! ❤️ 

Blessings and prayers,

grace

[Maddy]

19 hours ago, Flowerteacher55 said:

Your HSV test results: did the numbers differentiate for HSV 1 and HSV 2? Usually a test result says two sets of numbers for each test type (IGG and IGM). So it would have two numbers for each; for example IGG: HSV1 1.5  HSV II .06. Or did your test just group them together and give one number? 

 

Initial test combined it together, Later test distinguished it and I just did a test on 9th August 2022. The results showed that HSV 1 IGG & IGM negative ; HSV 2 IGG is 2.9 and HSV 2 IGM is 0.29. I spoke to a consulting Doctor and that Doctor advised me that may be my medications are incorrect. I am using Acyclovir to treat these outbreaks and she advised that I need to use Valacyclolvir  since I have HSV 2 infection. Will be seeing a dermatologist tomorrow (Will update what he says) . I have lesions on my groin so let them make a physical examination. About suppressive therapy, they will advise me once the physical examination is done . They say that they will have to examine my lipid profile to see if a suppressive therapy can be tolerated by me.

 

Besides, Thanks so much for all the kind words, I am just trying to come to terms with the number of OB's that I am seeing here. I just want them to stop that is why, I used desperate in my title. 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi,

Thanks so much for the clarification. 

I didn't know that HSV-2 required Valacyclovir (Valtrex)! I hope your exam goes well. Keep us updated! ❤️ 

Praying for you! 

[Maddy]

Hi 

Visited the dermatologist today and he prescribed Valacyclovir for a month based on the IGG positive in my report. He also said that in the reports the IGG positive could be a false positive as I keep getting lesions at different spots on my genitals. A urine DNA PCR was also done which has not detected any HSV virus or other STI's . Usually,  HSV2 happens in the same areas . In my case it is all over the place. The current outbreak is on the shaft of my penil muscle and it is in a straight line . My dermatologist says that there could be inflammation in my body and has prescribed some more tests. I do have follicilitus and my doc says that may be a reason that the HSV is flaring up if I have it. There are other conditions that look like HSV but aren't. 

A month is what he has asked me to wait to check how the meds work.

But a false positive cant be 6 times . I have done this HSV detection report 6 times and all the time it turned out to be a positive IGG. Besides, acyclovir works and zaps my lesions so I really think that HSV is there however, other conditions like follicilitus may be just triggering it more as I am experiencing more OB's. Whenever I shave I do get an outbreak along with follicilitus.

 

 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hello,

Thanks for keeping us updated! 

Yes, it wouldn't make sense for the doctor to prescribe the month of antivirals if he didn't think it could be HSV. Hypothetically the results could be giving a false positive, but 6 out of 6 tests coming back positive and the antivirals working for you does make it seem like it's HSV. You are correct that other things can mimic HSV, and of course it is possible to have more than one thing going on (folliculitis and HSV, for example). 

Stay kind to yourself and observe your symptoms to see if anything triggers outbreaks and what makes them better. You will get through this and you will be okay. We are here for you! 

Keep us updated! 

Blessings ☀️🕊️

[Maddy]

I do not know if this has happened to anyone. I really can't tolerate Valacyclovir. The prescribed dose of 500Mg for a month I do not know how I will complete. I informed my doctor that I am not able to tolerate it. He has said to stop it for a while. I am used to antivirals Acyclovir 400 mg 3 times a day and I can pretty much tolerate this dose . I am not too sure why I am not able to tolerate just the 500mg of Valacyclovir. Does the body take time to get used to it? I am not sure  

[Flowerteacher55]

Hello,

I hope you are doing okay. For some people, they feel side effects when using Valacyclovir or Acyclovir. Not every drug is suitable for every person! It's great you were honest with your doctor and they switched the medication for you. Keep track of how it makes you feel. If neither work for you, you could try Famciclovir, another antiviral for HSV. 

Stay well and be kind to yourself! 

Blessings! 🙂  

[Maddy]

Hi no the doc has not switched the meds . He has just asked me to stop it from some time. Besides, the doc asked me to do a DNA pcr urine and all the STI in it came back negative ... 

[Maddy]

Done that look like a herpes rash ....

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi!! 

I am SO sorry I didn't reply to the previous post with the urine screening results. The photo you posted does look like a cluster of blisters. Does it hurt? Also did this occur maybe because you stopped taking antivirals? If it's been within 48 hours, you could get the sores swabbed. 

Praying for you!! 🌻🌼

[Maddy]

Hi 

Yes it is not hurting but yes tingling. I felt sick on 17th August and developed this . I showed it to my dermatologist. He has currently put me on acyclovir 400 3 times a day  for 10 days . Post that he has put me on a month of supression with acyclovir 400 once a day. The outbreaks are just not stopping . It is getting very depressing. The doc has also asked me to do a HSV 1 and HSV 2 Western blot . I am awaiting the results.

One thing that I do want to ask is supression safe and will it reduce outbreaks ? I just want to reduce my outbreaks.

[Flowerteacher55]

Hello,

I am so sorry to hear about this. It sounds like the outbreaks may not be herpetic. Have you been tested for monkeypox?

Yes, suppression is successful for many people. It really all depends on the person. It is helpful for those with consistent outbreaks. Sometimes people need an IV antiviral to help their body adjust. Many people who get HSV and have really bad outbreaks need IV antivirals because their body has such a hard time handling the virus. You could ask your doctor about IV antivirals. Also, did your doctor try another antiviral? 

I am praying for you! Things will be better, I promise! ❤️ 

Blessings! 

[Maddy]

on the thighs . The itching has stopped since I started the antivirals from 25th August . I noticed that the outbreaks on the thighs take a long time to heal in comparison to the ones in the genital area . 

 

[Maddy]

So this is conclusive correct ?... HSV 1 & 2 IGG  by Western blot  is positive 

[Flowerteacher55]

Hi! 

I just saw this now, I am so sorry! 

It seems like it says it's positive for IgG antibodies for other antibodies (IgM) it says negative, which makes sense. I think this record means you did test positive, but I am not a doctor! 

Kindly,

grace

[Guest Fatladysangnocure]

Been there, done that. ALL these past/current medications, eating the right foods, while avoiding others, seem to have very little effect on suppressing most outbreaks. Looking at most "Blogs" over the many years I have had Herpes, the various "Herpes Chat Rooms", these questions by many different sufferers are repeated over and over. There never is any "correct" answers. "Millions", supposedly have some form of Herpes, but "maybe" , all that is ever heard from is "maybe" hundreds. Herpes has been around for ages, Millions have been spent, and the same "results" are apparent. Same regurgitated testing, meds, results. Repeat, Hope, Failure, Disappointment, Repeat.  >>LOST>>DEPRESSED>>DESPERATE<<< Sums Herpes up accurately.
 

[Seeker1960]

On 10/23/2022 at 12:18 AM, Guest Fatladysangnocure said:

Been there, done that. ALL these past/current medications, eating the right foods, while avoiding others, seem to have very little effect on suppressing most outbreaks. Looking at most "Blogs" over the many years I have had Herpes, the various "Herpes Chat Rooms", these questions by many different sufferers are repeated over and over. There never is any "correct" answers. "Millions", supposedly have some form of Herpes, but "maybe" , all that is ever heard from is "maybe" hundreds. Herpes has been around for ages, Millions have been spent, and the same "results" are apparent. Same regurgitated testing, meds, results. Repeat, Hope, Failure, Disappointment, Repeat.  >>LOST>>DEPRESSED>>DESPERATE<<< Sums Herpes up accurately.
 

Sorry for what you've been through. Live is tough and you drew the short straw like the rest of us here. This virus affects us all differently and there are different strains of the virus. Some people live never knowing they are infected while others have frequent OB's. Everyone's immune system handles the virus differently as well. I do feel some progress is being made but it is slow just because of the nature of the virus. If a person takes a vaccine and doesn't have a OB for awhile and has one down the road how do you know if the vaccine works? It takes a long time to verify. Gene editing could hold promise but safety concerns about liver and organ damage are not clear. This virus doesn't cause a negative attitude but will make it worse. The best weapon is to stay as positive and hopeful as you can. Find enjoyment where you can. Develop yourself in all way that you can. That's the real answer. Be the marathon runner who competes without legs by using a wheel chair. Find yourself > be positive> have hope. Yeah life won't be the same like before but it still can be good.