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Potential Partner Waiting Game

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Hi all,
I recently met a guy that I really like. About a month ago, we had a little movie night date thing; it was during this time that I told him that I have herpes as I feel it's fair for him to know this if he wants to persue a relationship with me.  He went to talk to his doctor and parents about this and all of them said it was no big deal and that he should just go for it. I've gotten on supressive therapy to help him feel more at ease. Since then, he's been flirty but always puts the disclaimers that what he wants to do and what he will do could be different things. It's hard to talk to him and our little movie date nights have started to feel worse as I feel this constant cloud of potential rejection about wether or not he can move past "the condition" as he puts it. Especially since he's said he probably wouldn't want me over if I had an outbreak in my mouth, which I told him I rarely ever get.

Does anybody have any advice on how to deal with this?

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Im sorry you are going through this.  If he has already talked to a doctor and his parents then he should be pretty educated on the potential transmission rates.  I feel like its kind of unfair that he doesn't even want you around if you are having an outbreak.  That doesn't seem very supportive to me.   I know that you said its hard to talk to him but if you guys have any future then you both need to put everything on the table and see where you both stand.  Herpes isn't who you are, its just something that you have.  

Maybe giving him more information about it would be helpful.  Knowledge is power 

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Hi! @AlliKat12 is right- knowledge is power! ❤️ 

I'm sorry that things have changed between you. I do not understand why he wouldn't want you over even if you had an outbreak... you can still sit next to someone and cuddle and enjoy a happy movie night without kissing, sex, or anything physically intimate! I understand that he is cautious, but it seems he needs to know the facts; you've even gone on suppressive medication to help soothe his worries, and that is something that you honestly didn't need to do (it's your body!) but you did it to help make things work, which is very considerate of you. Perhaps sharing the facts about transmission with him would help! Check out the fact sheets that you first got emailed to you when you signed up for this site. 

I hope this helps! 

Stay strong and be kind to yourself! ❤️ Remember that the way others treat you is  reflection of them.



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