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My first herpes disclosure since testing positive

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I had to jump on here and share a positive story!!! I recently started seeing someone, and we’ve hung out a handful of times. He invited me to a NYE event and also got us a hotel (with two beds), and confirmed he didn’t want me to feel pressured into having sex right away. However, I felt that I needed to tell him my status since there was an off chance that NYE could go that way. I didn’t want to be in the throws of things and have him make a drunken decision that he later regretted. Today he invited me to watch him play hockey, and afterwards we grabbed some food. 

I had been hyping myself up all morning to have that talk. After we had food we walked to my car, and I asked him about NYE, and mentioned that although I know the intention is not for us to sleep together, I still wanted to talk. So I asked when the last time he was tested was and what his status was. He told me he was tested 3 months ago, and was negative. 


I then told him that I was positive for HSV-2, and I told him I knew that could be a dealbreaker and I asked if he had any questions. We talked about my symptoms, and I told him that I would do whatever I could to keep him as safe as possible. I explained that I haven’t had an OB since June and that if he wanted I would happily go on suppressive meds. I explained some of the statistics. He asked me about having children and how that would impact it, and I explained as much as I could. 

he grabbed my hands pulled me in for a hug, then kissed me and told me that he liked me so much, loved spending time with me, and that we would figure it out.

I met him on a regular dating app. I still have so much adrenaline, and I can’t believe how well he took it. I had to share this because I think so many of us are worried about the rejection, and i think as long as we’re open and honest, we can allow so many good things to come into our lives. He even bought me a bracelet that says “you fucking got this” as a way to keep my head looking on the bright side of things.

I did tell him that if he changes his mind later on, that I understand and would not fault him. So we’ll see how things go, I’m leaving any of the physical intimacy and how fast that moves in his hands. I want it to be 100% at his comfort level. I’m hoping to be able to followup in a few months with more good news 🥰



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  • 4 months later...
  • mr_hopp changed the title to My first herpes disclosure since testing positive
  • 4 weeks later...

@JespoWe’re not together. It was for other reasons. He seemed to be okay with my H status. But he had a lot of his own mental health issues that he needed to work through, and unfortunately I became his emotional punching bag. I’m back out in the dating world and I’m terrified all over again. 

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