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Post-Disclosure Anxiety

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I recently ended a 3 year relationship with the person who gave me H. I have been getting to know someone over the last 5 months or so (someone I see nearly every day due to our current work situation). There was clear attraction, and post breakup he and I started spending more time with each other more romantically. Last week, we attended a party together and ended up having sex afterwards (with a condom); I had not disclosed to him yet and unfortunately my drunk state did not let me act rationally.

I disclosed to him the following night. I used all of the tips on this site and he seemed pretty OK with everything... we hung out for a bit and he kissed me goodbye and told me he would do some research and then we would talk more. And then I didn't hear from him. After 4 days, I reached out and he told me that his doctor had recommended a blood test to him and that he was still trying to understand what this meant long term for him and still needed more time.

I'm trying to be patient and hopeful, but with each passing hour I honestly feel worse. I feel like his doctor's advice goes against pretty much everything I have ever heard and I just am really beating myself up for not telling him sooner, but also wondering if for him it even would have mattered. 

Not really looking for any advice here, just feeling down about the whole thing and hoping for a little support from this community 😞

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First, I just wanted to say, that even in a drunk state you did the right thing by using a condom. Also, give yourself some credit for telling him at all....that was very brave. When my boyfriend told me, I got tested afterwards as well just because I was not familiar with herpes and was a bit nervous. It took me a few months to adjust and now I don’t t even think about it. Give him some space and he will come around. If he doesn’t, then be happy that you didn’t waste any time on someone not worthy of you (you sound like a great girl). He's not angry with you and he's not ghosting you so most likely he just needs to see a negative test result before he can process where he sees the relationship going (just like I did). Im so sorry you are beating yourself up but try not to jump to conclusions, give him a week to process everything. Meanwhile know you have an entire community here to talk to when you are feeling down come lean on us. 

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Thank you😊 could you help explain with getting testing helped ease you about? I think my whole issue with it is I don’t know how it changes whether or not he would want to pursue a relationship. For instance, if he tests negative, I would imagine he is overly worried about then getting it from me and wouldn’t want to see me. In the very small chance he tests positive, I would imagine he is just super angry and it’s the same outcome. I’m trying to empathize but I feel like this is a lose lose.

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