Transmitting herpes to my kids?

[Tiredmommaj]

So if you’ve been following in here, you know I have faced all the worst case scenarios. I thought i was finding some solutions but things havnt gotten much better to date and now my kids are both showing signs. 
my oldest is constantly scratching/wiping his eyes, nose and both side of mouth. Also scratching his head a lot which I’ve noticed as a result of the same nerves being involved. 
I kissed my youngest bc he wanted a kiss and then after felt my upper lip tingling which is newer. It used to only be the bottom. Now he has a red bump on top lip right where I would have expected based on where I felt it on my lip when I kissed him. 
honestly I’ve struggled so much and feel like I can’t hold on much longer fighting but the thought of me giving my kids this when I’ve literally tried everything to avoid it incl not kissing them so much and it makes me so incredibly sad to not show them love in this way. But the one time I do I pass it on….makes me think they would be better if I wasn’t around to spread it to them. 
I have ruined their lives and I fear their future relationships and if they want to have children passing it on. 
Very little hope for the future, I don’t know what to do. 

[Bloomer]

Hey @Tiredmommaj! I remember you. 🙂

Are you sure you infected your kids? Did you have an open sore while kissing them or just tingling? It is hard to transmit HSV if you don't have open sore and you are kissing someone who's skin is intact. General recommendation is not to kiss someone while having active/open sore on your lips. If you had only tingling chances are really small of infecting your children. How old are your kids if I may ask?

I understand panick and fear completely, I too have small child and fear of infecting him is always present. 

You didn't ruined your children lives, no way. Even if they get HSV orally they can still have perfectly normal and happy life. 

So you didn't have much success with ozone therapy? So sorry for your condition, sometimes it's really hard to live with this infection but I can assure you that you didn't do anything bad to your kids. Your kids love you and need you no matter what infection you have. 

[Seeker1960]

Hi @Tiredmommaj There is no way and no scenario that your kids lives would be better without you in it period HSV withstanding. HSV is super common, my two daughters have oral HSV and so does my wife and it has only been a minor inconvenience for them. 

Now I can't say the same for myself because I have GHSV1 and I had it for 7 years now. It's no fun but I do try an live my best life as should you. If you a relatively young there are many different treatments and vaccines in the pipeline and something life changing could be coming in the near future. Wouldn't that be a shame that you weren't here to take advantage of something that make HSV a non-issue?

Don't give up and stay strong and love your kids. They need you!

[Tiredmommaj]

@Bloomer@Seeker1960

This really Is why this site is so great, both of your posts really did lift me up and I appreciate you both taking the time to message me. Your words made me cry bc the struggle is so isolating sometimes and I feel like no one understands. I live alone in this. 
My kids are 4 and 6, I havnt had an open sore per se when kissing him however here’s the thing with me. I believe I have it all over my body as ever since I’ve had this there is a particular itch(started on my chin and down there) And over time that itch has spread everywhere. I get little bumps and the itch is constant lasts for weeks/months. Particularly on my back and wraps around my ribs to stomach sometimes. This also happens on my scalp and forearms and legs. 
I noticed a while back my husband started itching his scalp in the same way, that there is a deep itch and he will scratch constantly however he’s never had an OB. 
only recently my son has started this same itching of his scalp and it is followed by this same constant itching of his nose and now sides of his mouth and then he wipes his eyes back to his scalp. 
I feel like most would say it’s impossible bc it always says things like it’s difficult to spread without an open sore or to other areas of your body but in my case it has. And so nothing is a normal case for me. 
I have been stupidly cautious, not using same towels, not bathing with my kids, wearing clothing that covers my body. 
 

The ozone only helps if I go regularly…weekly it’s $650 for 6 treatments so I’m paying that every couple months. If I stop for a couple months the itching over my body starts and doesn’t go away for a month min. I havnt heard back from the neglase testing, but have been taking homeopathics to boost my immunity but nothing is helping. 

im not sure why it’s taken over me in this way, also new is my eyes. I’m pretty sure it’s spread there as the inner part will be really itchy, constantly and there is a whitish discharge that daily is in my eye now. I also believe it’s in my left ear. As same thing has happened there. I use a Qtip with hydrogen peroxide that seems to be the only thing that helps the itching and soreness.  Now I’m concerned the next will be my eyesight or brain. 

i know it’s super common however not as much hsv 2 and that’s what I fear is on my kids faces which tends to have more OBs and in my case has just been so horrible so I can’t imagine my kids with this like me…if my disease has spread so vastly in 10 yrs, my heart can’t take what it will do to my kids in their lifetime. 

I imagine the treatment will be an mRNA v which is destroying people’s health right now which I’m against but hey which is the worst of two evils. My son can not get the V bc underlying heart markers for contraindications. 
 

I love my kids to the ends of the world and know I would only be hurting them if I wasn’t here. But then I’m also putting them at more risk. 80% of my day consists of navigating OBs, bc they are everywhere and seems there is always one somewhere on my body. The other part is trying to be healthy like exercise and do ozone but I’m literally not living. I’m just coping and managing. 
 

my husband says it doesn’t affect him bc it’s not his reality and I try to think this way but then I get an ob and it starts all over again. I feel crazy, but I’m not, I just don’t know what to do from here. 
 

I’ve added pics of my sons lip and the bumps I get all over my body
 

I really appreciate everyone here. ❤️

[Bloomer]

Honestly this doesn't look like HSV to me @Tiredmommaj. Did you try to swab those red spots? 

Itch can be from lot of things. It could be allergy, neuropatic itch, irritation from clothes softener etc. It can be from HSV too but this doesn't look like HSV. 

Imam not trying to dismiss your claims but just want for you too consider some other possibilities. 

[Montana Skies]

@Tiredmommaj I completely understand your fears and worries. My child is a teen now and I had the same fears during her younger years. I also feel that the virus has spread to other parts of my body, though doctors have been dimissive of my concerns. I know auto innoculation is supposed to be rare after you have an established infection, but I think the research on that theory is out of date. HSV is contagious and you do not have to have sores or lesions present to pass it on. I think you should get his red spots tested if you can as you will continue to worry about it in the future. 

[Tiredmommaj]

Both my son and I are constantly itching our faces. Mostly in the nostril area for both and him sides of his mouth and recently now the chin area. He also wipes his eyes constantly. he will do all three areas at the same time. 
For me it’s been my forehead and nose. I just don’t understand why it’s ongoing for months and months. Shouldn’t it stop at some point. 
does anyone know of herpes that can adapt to be constantly on the skin. Or why the itching would go on for literally months and months with no outbreaks. 
he is literally doing this every feW min and it’s bothering me bc I don’t want him spreading. I at least can try to refrain. 
pray for us, this herpes journey has been so sad and frustrating. I just can’t believe he would get it in this way. 
 

[mr_hopp]

Hi @Tiredmommaj — I get that dealing with HSV can be really tough and it's understandable to feel isolated in the struggle. You're not alone. I commend you for being cautious and taking steps to avoid transmission to your children, but also do your best to not let it verge on paranoia. (I know, hard to do.) There's just so much good that comes from physical closeness with your children.  A mama's affection is precious and deeply healing. 🙂

It's great that you reached out to this forum to seek help and support. However, based on the information you provided, it's hard to determine if your children have actually contracted HSV. While it's possible for the virus to be spread even without an active sore, it's also possible that your children are experiencing something unrelated to HSV.

I highly suggest taking your children to see a doctor and getting the areas swabbed to determine if it's truly HSV or not. This will provide more information about what you and your children are experiencing, and if what they are experiencing isn't herpes, then you can feel more free to kiss and hold and be close to your children.

Please know, as others have said in this thread, that you haven't ruined your children's lives, and they will be okay regardless of the outcome. Stay strong for yourself and your children! You got this. Big hugs to you!