Sad, scared, and need opinions.. :(

[Keely1]

I was recently diagnosed by swab and blood test HSV-2. I am absolutely mortified. I know that this is just a skin infection but I know you all felt the same feelings I am. I have to live with this the rest of my life, I have to tell someone eventually, and how could this happen to me? Here’s my story. I know herpes is tricky and there’s no exact answer, ever. I have been with the same guy for 1.5 years now. Prior to him I was with 1 person in 2021 (2 times). The prior person has never came forward or told me any diagnosis (wouldn’t expect him to since it’s been almost 2 years). So, my current partner of 1.5 years and I had anal sex (my first time ever) in November. THREE days later I felt super itchy and what felt like a cut on my butthole. It was there for over a week before I felt like it wasn’t probably normal. I had no other symptoms that a typical herpes outbreak would feel/look like. It was very minimal if almost non existent. I went to the doctor, she swabbed it but I now know it was too late of a swab so the first one came back negative. She said it absolutely did not look like herpes and that I would know if it was. I was relieved. Fast forward 3 months later (last week) I felt the same cut feeling coming on. It’s right on my thong line so it’s easy to feel. Still no pain or symptoms but I could tell this time it looked the same and was in the same exact place (my anus) just 1 lesion. So I went in sooner and got the swab/blood test and both were positive. I told my current partner that this came on days after we did anal and the lesion is in the place of entry and recurred in the same spot. To me, that’s not a coincidence. I’ve read that after your first “outbreak” in the first year, they can come back more frequently. So, anal sex, first outbreak, then 2nd one 3 months later in the same spot. He SWEARS it’s not him and he doesn’t have herpes and now trying to say I was the one who gave it to him if he has it. Now my mind is going crazy, did I have it the whole time? I just don’t believe that. I know herpes can be dormant but I’ve never had any symptoms in my life and he hasn’t either, but I just so happen to have an outbreak on my butthole days after anal and then the same spot 3 months later? He also has cheated on me this past year and I know he has multiple partners before me. He hasn’t been tested yet, but if there was ANY possibility his came back negative which my gut is telling me he’ll be positive, I don’t know how I’ll live with myself. He didn’t make this conversation very easy for me, which I know it’s not easy to hear, I get it, I’m still in denial. But I know he’ll probably not want to see me again if he is indeed negative. I know this is normal but I feel so distraught. I’ve always had safe sex. Please reply 😢

[Bloomer]

Hello @Keely1! 

Your partner should be tested by blood test. He must ask for type specific test not combined. 

If he cheated, my advice to you would be to get full STD panel including HIV and hep B ( unless you are vaccinated) and hep C. Since you have genital herpes you have bigger chance of getting HIV so it's good idea to be tested. 

[PoppiVera]

My partner has never has any symptoms (as he claims) and he will get checked. I have HSV2 and racking my brain as well.  You know men carry it and are less likely to show symptoms.