Asymptomatic ... I Do Not Know Where I Have It!

[Seethroughme71]

I was diagnosed 2 months ago. I have been celibate for over 10 years. I was in a bad situation, and I finally got out October 2022. In January 2023 I asked my doctor for a full STD panel so I could get my "permission slip" to start dating again. She is amazing and thankfully (I do feel thankful for her, but I say that sarcastically) she included HSV in the panel without me asking for it. To my utter disbelief, the test came back positive for both HSV 1 & 2. The 2 was in the false positive range (1.21), so I paid for the Western Blot to verify the results. To my disappointment they were both still positive.

I have never had any outbreak anywhere, so I am an asymptomatic carrier at this point. This also means I can pass either 1 or 2 to a potential partner just by a kiss because I do not know where I carry it. They could also both be genitally. However, my ethics will not allow me to even kiss a guy without disclosing. This feels like so much more pressure because often people may kiss on the first or second date. So, I feel like I will have to disclose either before we meet or on the first date. This does not give me a chance to really get to know a person and whether I can trust them or not before disclosing. I feel like my chances of being rejected are higher because they will have to make a decision without even truly knowing me.

Any opinions from someone in my same shoes or an admin with more experience? Thanks bunches!!