Grief and agony

[PoppiVera]

Single mom here (42) dating same guy fir 9 months and all of a sudden bam: end of my period-pain, itchy, migraine for a week and at the gyno she showed me with a mirror the lesions. Nearly threw up when she said herpes. Went for bloodwork and it’s type 2. Another week will tell me if it’s recent or from a while ago. I’m sad, depressed, missing work and no motivation to do anything. Help me please 

[mr_hopp]

@PoppiVera Sorry it’s taken me a bit to get to this!  I am so sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. I can only imagine how scary and overwhelming it must feel right now. The good news is that you are not alone. Herpes is much more common than people realize, and many people live full, healthy lives with the virus.

It's completely normal to feel sad, depressed, and unmotivated right now. A herpes diagnosis can feel like a heavy burden to bear. But I want you to know that you are still the amazing, strong, and resilient person you were before your diagnosis. You are not defined by this virus, and it does not have to limit your life or your happiness. It's important to give yourself time to process your emotions and come to terms with your diagnosis. Take care of yourself physically and mentally, and don't be afraid to reach out for support from friends, family, or a therapist. 

Remember that your diagnosis does not have to impact your dating or sex life. You are still deserving of love and intimacy, and there are many ways to safely and responsibly have great, connected sex. (In fact, the best sex of my life came *after* my herpes diagnosis — go figure.) It's not only important to have open and honest conversations with potential partners, but can be super connecting and, dare I say, sexy.

Lastly, try not to let the stigma and misconceptions surrounding herpes get to you. Herpes is a manageable virus, and with time, education, and support, you can live a happy and fulfilling life. I pinky promise. 🙂