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Did I infect my boyfriend with herpes?


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Herpes has been the most confusing thing I’ve ever experienced. I don’t have outbreaks too often & don’t usually get the same prodrome symptoms. So on 5/1 I noticed that my lymph node felt swollen. There were no other visible symptoms. My first outbreak and the ones that have followed have been on my vagina. But I started taking a 5 day 1000mg Valacyclovir prescription just in case. I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend on 5/6 and received oral sex. The next day my boyfriend had a runny nose & keeps sneezing. Have I transmitted the virus to him? Is it possible that I had internal sores? I feel so terrible. 

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Hey there @Confusedanddepressed 

I totally understand how confusing and overwhelming it can be to deal with herpes. It's like this sneaky little thing that likes to keep us guessing.

First things first, it's great that you're being proactive and taking Valacyclovir, even if you didn't have any visible symptoms at the time. That's a smart move.

As for your boyfriend, it's hard to say if you've transmitted the virus to him or not. Herpes can be transmitted even when there are no visible symptoms, but the risk is lower. Plus, a runny nose and sneezing could be caused by any number of things, so try not to jump to conclusions just yet.

It's also possible that you had internal sores, which can be harder to detect. But regardless, you're doing the right thing by being mindful of the risk of transmission and taking steps to protect your partner.

Remember, herpes is just one small part of you're life. It's something you have, not who you are. It doesn't define you, and it certainly doesn't make you any less worthy of love and affection. Keep taking care of yourself, stay positive, and don't hesitate to reach out if you need support.

This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Helpful resources:

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  • mr_hopp changed the title to Did I infect my boyfriend with herpes?

From the studies I've read, the liklihood of transmitting from one exposure is very low. As the previous reply has said, people get a runny nose and sneeze for all sorts of reasons. But also - people can get swollen glands for all sorts of reasons too, it might have just been a symptom of having a cold or mild throat infection. 

Finally, the incubation period for H is apparently 2 days at the shortest so anything he has found on the next day seems too soon to be related. I hope this helps put your mind at rest slightly 🙂

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