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Left a relationship where I was accepted for HSV2, now depressed about my future

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Hi everyone, this is my first post and I am really glad I found this community. I’ll try and make this as quick as possible..

I recently broke up with a girl I was seeing for 6 months, who cared about me deeply and accepted my HSV2 status but I just didn’t see it working long term and slowly became less interested. 

To make a long story short, things started out very fast, we had a lot of sex and spent every night together. She didn’t want to use condoms so I obliged because she said they made her have a reaction, 6 wks later I tested positive for HSV2 and she claims she does not have it. I’m not saying she does but it seems like a pretty big coincidence to me. 

The relationship continued and she accepted my status, we started to not get along but due to my HSV2 status, I was scared to leave and risk being alone for the rest of my life while facing rejection for my status. 

We’ve now been broken up for over a week and initially I was proud of myself for getting out of the relationship and trusting my gut.. now I am spiralling feeling alone and wondering if I made a huge mistake walking away from someone who accepted my status.  The relationship was not healthy for either of us but I do feel like I miss her.. I’m just wondering if anyone has gone through similar experiences as my future feels dim in terms of sex and or a future relationship. I’d like to be single for a while and have casual sex but this whole disclosure thing just makes me feel like that is going to be an impossible feat. 

appreciate any help. 


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Hey there! Welcome to the community, and thank you for reaching out. It takes a lot of courage to share your story, and I'm glad you found this space where you can find support and understanding.

Breaking up with someone you cared about deeply is never easy, and it's completely normal to have mixed emotions afterwards. It's understandable that you may be feeling a sense of loneliness and questioning your decision. But remember, you made the choice based on what you felt was best for you in the long term. And trusting your gut is super important.

Regarding the situation with your HSV2 diagnosis, it's difficult to say for sure whether your ex-partner has it or not. Coincidences can happen, and it's important to focus on taking care of yourself rather than dwelling on speculation. It's great that she accepted your status, but it's also crucial to be in a healthy relationship where both people are compatible and happy.

Feeling uncertain about the future and the challenges of disclosure is completely understandable. It can feel daunting to navigate the dating scene with a herpes diagnosis. However, it's important to remember that having HSV2 does not define your worth or your ability to have fulfilling relationships. There are many understanding and accepting women out there who will see beyond the virus and appreciate you for who you are. Have you seen this video about casual sex with herpes? https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/casual-hookups-with-herpes

And here are some others that might be helpful, too:

Taking time for yourself and being single can be a valuable opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth. It allows you to focus on your own well-being, build confidence, and explore your interests and passions (which is how I met my wife ... on the dance floor ... after learning partner dancing while single). 😉 When you're ready to pursue casual sex or consider a future relationship, disclosure may feel challenging, but it's an important part of building trust and having informed consent. Have you read the e-book on disclosure yet? Here it is for free: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Ultimately, your future is not defined solely by your herpes status. You have the power to shape your own path and create the life you want. It may take time and patience, but there are possibilities for meaningful connections and fulfilling experiences ahead. The key is to get out of your own way, drop the self-judgment and doubt, grab onto some good, old-fashioned hope and optimism. (I know on some level you already know this — it can sometimes feel like an internal fight between logic and emotions!)

I'm glad you reached out for help, and we're here to support you every step of the way. Feel free to ask any more questions or share your thoughts. You're not alone, and together, we can navigate the challenges and embrace an awesome future.

Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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