My Story

[Itgetsbetter]

I was married for 13 years and now divorced. It took me about a year to get back into dating, which was in 2023. I slept with one guy in 2023 that I dated for two months and we only ever used condoms. 
 

I met a great guy in January 2024, and we slept together very quickly, about two weeks into dating. I am very rigid and controlled normally in a dating scenario and wanted to be more free. I didn’t make any rules of when and how we would have intercourse. I just let it happen. We had sex without protection and everything was fine. When we had sex again, I started to feel a weird sensation on my vagina 4 days after our second time. I looked down there and it looked like I had a tear on my vagina. I called my doctor immediately and did a telemed appointment. I was convinced that it was a yeast infection, she was not convinced. Then I noticed a strange bump, which I soon found out was a herpes blister on the inside of my vulva. I went in for a physical exam and she diagnosed me with herpes, and I had a full breakdown. We did a test on the lesion to make sure and I started a high dose of valtrex on Wednesday. By Friday I was so sick, I had the leg cramps, burning sensation on my vagina, watery discharge, and felt like I had the worst flu ever. I was broken to say the least. I told the guy I started dating who now is my bf of 7 months what happened. He was shocked and didn’t know he had herpes. He has done std checks, but as you know the herpes test usually is not included in with the STI panel testing. He has had cold sores in the past, but nothing active while we slept together. He also has never had any sore on his penis. He was apologetic and supported me through this journey. I had pain and blisters for about a three weeks. After I got the positive results back i opted for the daily valtrex and haven’t had a breakout since. 
 

i definitely fell into a depression and still have some anxiety to this day about it. I felt very alone. I really didn’t allow myself to grieve until the blisters were gone. I even went to the doctor’s multiple times to make sure I didn’t have any blisters because me looking at it myself wasn’t enough to convince me. I had a hard time concentrating at work from March to April and had a personality change. I started to feel back to normal around May of this year. I’m glad that I have found this forum. I wanted to share my experience and let others know that it gets better. I bumped my therapy back to weekly visits for extra support. I still don’t feel completely normal in my vagina, it seems to burn pretty regularly. Things get better though. All of my research about this topic has shown the longer you have it the less severity of symptoms. It’s nice to read that women have had normal pregnancies and deliveries. That brings me peace. 

[AlliKat12]

Hello @Itgetsbetter

Thank you for your uplifting story.  Your are definitely correct, it does get better.  I'm glad that you are reaching out for support and you also have that support system at home because having the support you need helps when you are getting used to your new normal.   I also have that feeling in my head that everything that is going on just has to be herpes.  If I feel a tingle or a burning sensation, I am convinced that I am having an outbreak or about to have one.  It can be a lot of stress on yourself which ultimately can cause an outbreak.  I believe that its all about learning your body and learning how having herpes works with your body.  

I can tell you that I have three healthy boys that were all born naturally and I had completely normal pregnancies and deliveries. 

You got this 🙂 

[mr_hopp]

Hi @Itgetsbetter,

Your story is sooo good! And it’s clear you’ve come a long way in accepting your diagnosis. It’s great that your boyfriend has been there for you — having that support really makes a difference. I can totally relate to the anxiety around every little sensation, but it’s awesome that you’re starting to learn your body and what’s normal for you now. Through this journey, we get to develop a better and better relationship with our own bodies, right?

It’s also encouraging to hear you’re finding peace through therapy and that research on pregnancy is bringing you comfort. It’s all part of the journey, and you’re doing a fantastic job navigating it. Keep going — you’ve certainly got this! 😊

And @AlliKat12, your experience with having healthy pregnancies is so reassuring. It’s wonderful to see how supportive you both are of each other and our community here.