Just found out I have herpes and feel depressed and anxious

[Kdubz6534]

I’m 41 and have been with my husband 17 years. I have had hsv 1 on my lips since I was a kid and have always been very careful with it. I don’t let my kids drink from my cups I’m constantly washing hands, etc. last week I woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. I rubbed my lip and the wipes myself after peeing. While willing my hand brushed my labia. I realized my lip was tingling, looked in the mirror and realized I was getting a cold sore. I panicked and took a valtrex, because I keep them for my cold sores. Earlier in the week I had some tenderness on labia, I went to the dr and had it tested and it was negative. Well yesterday morning I woke up and had pain so I looked and sure enough there are a ton of blisters. I wasn’t able to see my normal gyno, the one I saw said it’s herpes. I’m devastated. I don’t want to pass it to my husband. I’m in a lot of pain. I came on this site looking for help and support and I see a bunch of posts of people feeling depressed because they’ve had years of non stop outbreaks. Now I’m devestated and feel like my life is over. I don’t know what to do. Also, I stated my period yesterday as well. I’m using a pad because I’m afraid to use a tampon. I just feel doomed. I couldn’t sleep last night. If people have non stop outbreaaks, what if that’s me? How can I live like that?

[AnnieO]

I'm so sorry.. Your doctor should prescribe you an antiviral med. that will lesson the length of the outbreak. generally the first one is the worst, following outbreaks will depend on the individual. I was diagnosed with hsv 2 over 30 years ago. outbreak free for close to the same amount of time. recently had an outbreak that was pretty bad and then another just over a year later. both times I took the meds. some people are on a daily suppressive. I choose not to go that route. 

Hang in there. I pray your husband will understand and be supportive. do your research, stay connected to this group. They offer a lot of support. Eat right, exercise (hard to do that during an OB.) Do things that make you feel good on the inside, even when the outside feels crappy. This too shall pass..

[Kdubz6534]

Thank you for your response and encouraging words. I noticed the sores around 8:15-8:30 in the morning and immediately took valtrex that I keep on hand for my cold sores. I had my appointment at 1:30. The doctor said it was herpes based on visual examination but he performed a swab test as well. I just saw my lab results and they were negative. Is this likely because he didn’t get a good sample or did the valtrex affect the result? I’m assuming I have it based on the sores I can see. I emailed to see if I can make an appointment with my regular doctor because I’m much more comfortable with her and I have a lot of questions. My husband is trying to be supportive but I’m concerned about how this will affect our marriage. I don’t feel like me anymore, I feel like I have this big secret and I’m the only one who has it. The doctor at my appointment had to have his nurse look up the cdc information and look up the dosage on the phone. I don’t know how to describe it c it just made me feel like it’s so rare for him to have seen a case he didn’t know the current protocols which made me feel even more alone. I had to go to a party that night and i felt like I had a scarlet letter on me. It was really a struggle.

[mr_hopp]

@Kdubz6534 Hey, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s totally understandable that you’re feeling scared and overwhelmed right now. Like @AnnieO said, the first outbreak is usually the worst, and things do get better with time. Don't spend your precious mental resources worrying about what might be and focus as best you can on what you can do now. I know it's sometimes easier said than done, but do your best to take this one day at a time. It's great you're keeping an open line of communication with your hubby, and taking Valtrex early can help reduce the severity and length of outbreaks, so you’re doing the right thing.

As for the swab test, it’s possible the medication could have affected the result, or the sample just wasn’t sufficient. It’s good that you’re reaching out to your regular doctor for more guidance and support.

Your feelings of isolation are valid, but remember, you’re not alone. Many people go through this and lead full, happy lives. Your husband being supportive is a great start. Keep communicating with him and take things one step at a time. Your marriage can survive this if you both want it to. Stay connected with this community for support—you’ve got this.

[TwoWitsEnd]

If your swab is negative, this is quite possible to be true. You can always do more swabs or blood work, but I would be thrilled to have a negative culture swab. Again, if you still have concerns, do further testing, but I myself would Woo-Hoo a negative swab!