HSV, Partner Lied to me :(---Awaiting Swab Culture Results

[TwoWitsEnd]

She rode on my penis. My friend has known her for over a month. I asked her before in past if she had herpes, the day she was at my house too, and she said she does not have herpes. 

I had not had sex in over 3 years, my blood work week prior to this was negative for hsv-1 & hsv-2. 

I told her twice to get off me as I was sitting in recliner during this, I can't move well at moment, she refused.

Then third time, I said I wanted her off as I was going to cum. She refused again. I have a right leg that is not working due to dislocated knee cap, I felt helpless with her on me, this is no lie,

I legit wanted her off me, when I told her to get off. But, it seemed she would not get off until I cum. It did not feel right to me, and I did not want to do this, but I didn't want her getting mad and possibly attacking me with my very painful right leg, etc..

I wore a condom, but my testicles are big and dangled out. I have history of fungal and sweat problems that compromised my scrotum skin. That pink scab thing was there already due to my sweat problems and my underwear snag that separated my testicles from my penis. It was some sort of contact dermatitis. But the red stuff I only saw after she rode me. 

 

24 hours after the incident, I saw bright red marks on the scrotum. APRN nurse saw it in person within 48 hours of symptoms, said she was sure it herpes, and I believe her.

Culture swab was done Tuesday. Now, I sit and wait and can't eat, can't function. I am having bad thoughts, I just can't handle this. I'm already prepared to cash out everything I own and leave my city, etc...I can't handle this. 

Will swab return in same time period whether it is negative or positive?

I already see ulcer like thing on scrotum, it matches pictures online (enclosed my photo). 

There are so many nice people here, and you all are more handsome and beautiful than me.

You have nice beaming faces and white teeth. I feel so unwanted and disgusting now.

I thought I was being safe wearing a condom and asking her if she had herpes, but it seems that people can and do lie. It is messing me up mentally, cause I would never lie about this to another human being. I am so out of my mind over this, I can't eat, can't function. 

 

I appreciate your reading all this, I just am so to my wits end...

 

 

[TwoWitsEnd]

I am only 40 as of this summer, I feel like I have ruined my entire life, my ability to have children, start any family, it is all taken from me now. 

[mr_hopp]

@TwoWitsEnd

I’m really sorry you’re going through this right now. It sounds like a lot to handle, and your feelings are totally valid. Waiting for swab results can be tough, but try to hang in there. The timing for results is the same whether it’s positive or negative, so hopefully, you’ll know soon.

It’s important to remember that even if it is herpes, your life certainly isn’t over! Stop with all that extreme hooey. 😉 Plenty of people live normal, fulfilling lives with it, and it doesn’t stop you from having children or meaningful relationships. I met the woman who is now my wife after I got herpes, and we have a 7-year-old boy. You’re still the same person, and this doesn’t define you. If anything, you can make it define you as an honest, loving, courageous and considerate man. Just the kind of man your future partner is looking for. 😉 Be careful what you choose to believe about this ... Don't make this into a death sentence; make it your opportunity to live deeply and authentically. It'll serve you well, trust me. In fact, for me, since having herpes, I've had the best, most connected, deeply fulfilling relationships of my life (not to mention the best sex I've ever had, too).

You made a smart choice using a condom and asking her if she had herpes. Even though herpes can be passed from areas not covered by a condom, you did your best to be safe. Try not to be too hard on yourself—nobody is perfect.

It’s normal to feel shaken, but don’t make any big decisions while you’re still processing everything. You’re not alone in this, and it gets easier with time and support. Stay strong! If you need one-on-one support, I offer 35% off first coaching sessions: https://calendly.com/adrial/25

[TwoWitsEnd]

Thank you for the reply. I sleep 10 hours at night, then 2 more hours during the day. I eat half a buttered toast a day, with some milk, am drinking water too, but I have no desire to make a real meal, I just don't care to do anything. 

The visual diagnosis I trust, cause this was an std clinic. Knowing the type though, can anyone comment on GHSV1 vs GHSV2? Maybe some education can come out of this for others. 

If one has GHSV1 vs 2, is there fewer or no obs? I'm already terrified having read from others who get 4 obs a year from GHSV2.

I never thought something like this could just upend someone's life, but it is all too real and all too life shattering. 

[mr_hopp]

@TwoWitsEnd 

Yes, genital HSV-1 is quite different from genital HSV-2. It sheds much, much less and is much less transmissible (genital HSV-2 sheds 20% of the time; genital HSV-1 only 1-14% of the time, and after having it for 2+ years, it's only shed an average of 4 days annually). In fact Terri Warren (one of the top herpes researchers) told me she hasn't once seen a case of genital HSV-1 passing genital-to-genital; most genital HSV-1 cases come about via oral sex when one partner has a cold sore (oral HSV-1) and passes it to their partner's genitals. Download the handouts that come with the free ebook here to see all the data gathered together from reputable, cited sources: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

... and here's an article on HSV-1 vs. HSV-2: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/post/hsv-1-hsv-2-the-two-types-of-herpes

Give yourself time. It's totally normal to be feeling a bit numb and stunned, but trust you will come out of it. Don't dig yourself into a deep mental pit about this, just let it pass like the weather ... be good to yourself in the meantime, treat yourself well (including eating more than just buttered toast and milk). 😉