Permanent painful intercourse

[Houston Control]

My GF has been experiencing a very painful first out break. It’s been almost 6 weeks. While the external sores have healed, she cannot have intercourse due to pain. I’ve told her we can wait, it’s not an issue. She wanted to try last night. It was too painful and today she was bleeding. We could not even really try. Sex is just too painful. 
She feels like this have has ruined her sex life. She is giving up hope of ever experiencing pleasure from sex again. 

The question I have is:

Is it at all possible to end up with permanent damage from an outbreak? 

[Houston Control]

https://patient.info/forums/discuss/i-keep-getting-tears-in-my-vaginal-area-help--545888

[mr_hopp]

Hey @Houston Control, sorry for the late reply!

I’m really sorry to hear your girlfriend’s going through such a rough time with this. Her first outbreak sounds incredibly painful, and it’s totally understandable why she’d feel worried about her sex life going forward. But here’s the thing: it’s very rare for herpes to cause any kind of permanent physical damage to her body. Usually, it’s the healing process and the lingering sensitivity after a first outbreak that makes things feel so painful, especially with the nerves still recovering.

Recovery can take a while, especially with a more intense first outbreak, so it’s normal that she’s still feeling some pain even after the sores have healed. A little extra time, some patience, and, when she’s ready, experimenting slowly with ways to be intimate that feel comfortable for her can really help (and with lots and lots of lubrication).

Sometimes, the mental toll can be just as tough as the physical, so her feelings about “giving up hope” are valid and normal, even though it might not feel that way. Reassuring her that pleasure and intimacy aren’t off the table forever might give her some relief. She’s not alone in this, and with time, things do get better.

[Houston Control]

Well, she is blaming me. She is now going to leave me she says. I don’t see a lot of hope myself. So….there’s that.

[mr_hopp]

Oof, I’m so sorry to hear this, @Houston Control ... I can only imagine how tough this must be for both of you. Right now, she’s probably dealing with a lot of intense feelings—pain, frustration, and grief over how this has impacted her physically and emotionally. And when someone’s going through that much hurt, it’s common to look for someone or something to blame, even though this isn’t anyone’s fault.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from seeing people go through these situations, it’s that time can bring perspective. She might need space to work through her feelings, but that doesn’t mean this is the end. Try to stay patient with both her and yourself. Herpes is hard to process initially, but over time, the fear and anger usually fade, and a more balanced perspective takes over.

Take care of yourself, and know you’re not alone in this. There’s hope, even if it’s hard to see right now. We’re here for you.