Asymptomatic & Antivirals

[Mark007]

So, I'm pretty sure I already know the answer to this question, but I'd appreciate some insight from people who know have more knowledge about the subject than I do.  I spend a lot of time reading here, and rarely post.

I have told my story here before. My spouse and I both have HSV2. We spent some time separated and we believe that's when it happened, and one of us infected the other, and we have moved past that. At any rate,  she has regular outbreaks, and I have always been asymptomatic.  She has always been on antivirals, and I have not.  We have two teenage children that live with us.  I know that antivirals reduce the chance of me passing the virus through asymptomatic shedding during sex, but I never bothered because my spouse is the only person I am having sex with, and she already has the virus as well. Would me being on antivirals make it safer for those living in the house with us?  I mean, would me not being on antivirals put my teenagers at greater risk from catching it through other means?  I'm sure that this is just me getting into my own head and I just need someone to get me out of my own head, but expert opinions would be appreciated.  Before you ask, yes, I do take medication for anxiety, but if you took the time to read this and answer, I really appreciate you.

[mr_hopp]

Hey there @Mark007

First off, thanks for sharing your question here. It’s great that you’re taking time to think about not just yourself but the safety of your family. And yeah, sometimes our anxiety can get the better of us, especially when it comes to a topic that carries as much stigma and misinformation as herpes. So let's put your mind at ease ...

The short answer: No, your not being on antivirals does not put your teenagers at risk of catching HSV2. Herpes is a virus that requires very specific conditions to spread — skin-to-skin contact with an area that’s shedding the virus, usually through sexual activity or very direct contact with a sore. It doesn’t transmit through everyday household interactions like sharing towels, hugging, or just being in the same space.

For context, antivirals work to reduce viral shedding and the risk of transmission primarily between sexual partners. In a household setting, where those kinds of intimate contacts aren’t happening, there’s no need to worry about your teenagers being at risk.

Even in households where one person has active outbreaks, transmission to non-sexual contacts (like kids) is extremely rare. The virus doesn’t linger on surfaces long enough to pose a risk, and normal hygiene practices — washing hands, not sharing items like razors — are more than enough to prevent it. If you’re doing those basics, you’re already doing great.

It sounds like you’re carrying some guilt or anxiety about the “what ifs,” and I totally get that. But you’re doing everything right. You and your spouse have already done the hard work of moving past the emotional challenges of this diagnosis, and it’s clear you’re being thoughtful and intentional about protecting your family. That’s huge.

If antivirals ever feel like something you want to explore for your own peace of mind, that’s always an option to talk about with your doctor. But it’s not necessary from a household safety perspective.

You’ve got this, and you’re doing just fine. It’s okay to let go of this worry and focus on what really matters — loving and supporting your family. ❤️

Sending you some calm vibes ...