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Wanting my "sexy back"

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My bf has HSV2 we didnt know he had it till our relationship progressed...we thought we were careful...guess not. We both got tested: he was HSV2 positive, I was STD completely free. I knew my chances of catching it but I took them bc I loved him. I ended up with HSV2 too...now here i am going thru these dif stages of emotional healing trying to accept this...we're able to openly discuss things but my sense of sensual sexuality has been crushed. In my mid 30s I HAD a high libido, and now bc Ive had to heal physically, Im not even interested in having sex bc I feel like the virus took away my confidence and my sex appeal. I know my bf loves me and hes being understanding of this...im only on my 2nd OB but hes on his 4th...i know he's still super attracted to me and he loves me but the prob is i feel i lack a sexual luster inside of me. Its not fair to him. He said he understands how I feel and it may take time for it to come back. I dont want to be a debby downer but gees, when will i get "my sexy back?"

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Self love may go a long way here in helping you get your "sexy back." Allow you to get yourself off first while dealing with the mental negativity might help you overcome the thoughts you are having while he is trying.


It is only a suggestion, but it worked for me. In the past, with my ex, I would joke about it a lot as well... he would make attempts, I would respond with something like, "oohhh I don't know, there is a rumor going on around here that you have herpes, what kind of a girl do you think I am?"


Herpes is really not that serious, it is kinda funny if you think about it. It is nothing much different than Acne but shows up in the least of desired areas. It is not NEARLY as bad as education pictures suggest. Have you ever googled a "small house fire?" One of the first pictures is an entire house burning down... when you google Herpes outbreak, you practically see the worst case scenario and OMG, is that penis about to fall off!?!?!


Make it funny, make it light, make it not so serious and you will see the people around you do the same. Your energy rubs off on everybody but affects you the most. So, make it funny to yourself, get yourself off...and slap the shit out of yourself if you need to. I highly doubt you would allow ANYBODY else talk to you the way you do. Seriously.

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Hi tNd


I can completely relate to what you say you feel. I've always been extremely physical and when I first found out I totally shut down....to others and to myself. Physically and emotionally. All of it. I couldn't even bring myself to 'look after' myself. I didn't even have the urge at all for nearly a month. I was kind of numb. I honestly honestly thought I'll never feel clean or sexy or desirable again. I believed that to the core. It was over. I remember watching a scene in a tv show at that point. Do you know house of cards with Kevin spacey? He was going down on his young reporter friend. It's a captivating scene anyway but It sticks in my mind so clearly. I would never enjoy or experience any of that again. I was sooooo low. But.......it passes!


You will come around. Slowly but surely you will. I can't say how long it will take you. I didn't have a supportive loving man in my life at that point like you do so maybe it won't be too long for you. So many factors affect the healing process I suppose. In any case, know you'll get your sexy back! Just a matter of time.

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>:D< thx guys i did tell my bf, "maybe my libido will come back when its ready....after i had my kids, i wasnt in a hurry to start to practice/have more so maybe it'll eventually come back: when i'm ready."


Another part i thought about today was that in a sense, we're both new to this dis-ease. He carried it and didnt know he had it until he had an OB


Any who on the brighter side. We both have to deal with this but we have each other :-)


Maybe im also feeling a lil selfish...since we're in the same stages of this dis-ease maybe its also hit him emotionally too...havent asked but i will discuss more with him...


I know he feels bad but he disclosed to me...we thought we took precautions, but i took the chance but we're dealing with it TOGETHER


*i'm now mentally singing 'bringing sexy back' " lol


Oh btw i have no prob getting myself off...as i said i HAD a high libido and loved masterbating but the prob is Ive had OBs back to back this month: too much pain to even try (yes i have acyclovir but i think i need to request for some lidocane). I had a 4 day grace period but man do I ferl like thisvirus is licking my hyenie!


"This too shall pass"

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i think what you are going through is normal, and getting back into the groove is going to take some time.

When I am in a funk I start small. I get back an exercise and workout regimen and I work on myself by doing things that make me feel good. I do my hair, my makeup, put together cute outfits and match my bra and panties. When you put on something a little sexy or find ways to work that into your daily life, it will come back.

I always feel sexier and more confident when I've got a sexy little something underneath that only I get to see.

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