Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

lonely/afraid


Recommended Posts

2 weeks ago I went to my gyno for pain/itching/burning.. I was diagnosed with bacterial vaginosis (similar to a yeast infection). At the time I also had 2 small bumps on the outside of my vagina, which I didn't think much of and my gyno didn't mention them so I left with my prescription for the infection. 2 days later the bumps had gotten worse; itchy and burning. I looked online and convinced myself (from looking at pictures and reading about symptoms) that I had herpes. I went in to see my gyno again right away and she checked me and said it did not look like herpes to her and that her gut feeling was that it wasn't. She also said she couldn't test/culture anything since the bumps were hard/crusted over. I was put at ease for the rest of that day, but I woke up the next morning with a pit in my stomach and looked at the sores again, I realized that I KNOW my body, and something isn't right. After a few agonizing days I've come to terms with the fact that I have hsv2. I have not officially been diagnosed but I plan on going this week to talk to a different doctor and hopefully get a blood test.

 

I am not coping well with this. I have the worst pit in my stomach. I can't eat or sleep. Can't stop crying. I'm a 25 year old female. I've told my mom who's very supportive and has a "it's not the end of the world" attitude. But for me it feels like it is. I've been casually seeing someone for a few months and I'm so so scared to tell him. I don't think I got it from him. I drunkenly hooked up with an ex right before my outbreak (I received oral sex from him). I called him and he got tested and said all blood tests came back negative, but I don't see how that could be true. I feel defeated and depressed and just awful. I live in an area where everyone knows everyone and their business (especially with social media). I'm terrified someone will find out. I don't know what to do. I have so many questions but from reading some of these posts I know now that everyone's experience is different. I guess I just feel completely hopeless :(

Link to comment

Does it help on some level to know that most everyone who gets herpes goes through this heavy, pit-in-the-stomach, hopeless feelings that you're describing? It may not make them any easier to deal with, but it's all part of the process that I believe is letting go a lot of previously held assumptions that were holding you back from living an awesome life anyway. Trust me, there's a huge opportunity in this for you. Feel what you feel, but don't beat yourself up about it. Know that you have a huge Herpes Opportunity community behind you to support you every step of the way, but the journey is yours to have. And this journey doesn't have to be one of pain and suffering. It can be seen as a journey of growth and self-awareness. I've seen it time and time again. So trust me when I say that you are okay. You are not alone. And you will lead an awesome life if that's what you want. You will find love if that's what you want. You will be blissfully happy if that's what you want. Big community hug to you. There's nothing to fear. Much love to you.

Link to comment

CC:

 

First - welcome and (((HUGS))).... and BREATHE!

 

Until the test comes back (and you are quite right to change doctors and demand a blood test..tho it could come back negative if you only just got it.) you don't know what you have. If you got it from Oral sex and you are +, it is likely HSV1 ... which has a much lower risk of transmission. There is also a VERY good chance you got this quite awhile ago and you only just had your first outbreak. In the last week I have heard of two people who had their first outbreak after 27 and 32 YEARS ... yeah - this H bug is a sneaky little bastard :/

 

The first line of business is to get the tests. If you are negative but still "positive" its H, go back in about 4 months for another test. One thought tho. Did the guy have a beard/long stubble? Because oral with that can often cause irritation and lead to an infected follicle.... just a thought ..... and that is the thing. Right now, what is "truth" is you got a nasty irritation after a drunken hook-up. That is all you know. So stay with that until the testing comes back. You may well have just had a nasty scare (READ: Life lesson!).

 

(((HUGS))) again. Let us know how things turn out and keep reading here. You will soon realize that whatever your diagnosis, life WILL go on and you WILL be ok :)

 

PEACE

Link to comment

thank you so much for the positive responses. I am going to get a blood test this week, although I'm 99% positive it is in fact herpes :(

 

if my test comes back negative and I have to wait a few months before I get retested, do I have to abstain from sex completely until I find out?

 

I've had the sores for almost 2 weeks now, and they've gotten very red with a darker scab in the middle. I've noticed that a couple times the scab has fallen off the in the shower leaving the sores open again. How can I stop this from happening? and I've had no swollen lymph nodes or anything of that nature. I'm wondering if this maybe is not my first outbreak and I just didn't notice before. I also feel occasional tingling around my groin and buttox.

 

one more question. does anyone know of any cases where people have only had one outbreak, without taking any antiviral meds? I'm trying to stay hopeful

 

appreciative of any and all feedback. xo

 

Link to comment

CC -

 

No - you don't have to abstain completely - just be very careful to abstain if you have any suspicion that you are having Prodrome (pre-breakout) symptoms ... and I'd use a condom for EVERY encounter. Which really, you *should* if you are not in a committed LTR .. :)

 

It's very likely that this *could* have been in you for quite some time. I just learned of 2 women who carried the virus for 27 and 32 years before their first outbreak. HSV is a sneaky little bastard :( But also be careful to be "careful, not paranoid". It's easy to think that every itch, pimple, and ingrown hair is an outbreak. It's also very likely you have an ingrown hair/heat rash/whatever. So hard to tell without the test results.

 

Regarding the sores, use an Anti-bacterial gel and keep them from getting the hard crust...... and you may want to ask the Dr to give you acyclovir just in case while you are awaiting the results. If it clears right up with that, you may have your answer.

 

(((HUGS))) again. For the moment, try to do things to keep busy and stop worrying every moment about this. There is nothing you can do until Monday. Get out, go for a walk or go to a movie or whatever so you can occupy your mind with other things. I'll be crossing my fingers for you that this is just a "Life Lesson"... but if not, do know that you will be just fine, whatever happens :)

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...