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Happy New Year! I had the herpes talk!


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Well I did it and had to share with all of my H friends. Boy was is scary, but I felt I was finally comfortable with the man I have been seeing for 5 months. He seemed to take it well, or as well as I would guess anyone would getting info of that nature. He was appreciative of my honesty. I gave him the stats of % of people who have it, % of those people who do not know, transmission rates for F to M, and that what ever he decided I was okay with, I reiterated that I really care about him and wanted him to make an informed decision. I offered some materials but he declined. I don't know if that is a bad thing and he may have already made up his mind. He said he had not been tested in 15 years but would go get tested to see if he had anything (guessing if he has it, then I'm okay, if he doesn't not sure what that will mean, he says he doesn't like condoms). I explained that he needed to ask for the Herpes test in the STI package as it wasn't standard, let him know it's considered a skin condition so doctors don't see as a true STI. He didn't run out the door, YEA! We continued to talk for another hour about our relationship, occasionally kissing. He still seemed attracted to me and hoping it's not any act. As everyone says, if he doesn't want a relationship with me, it's his loss and my gain for knowing he isn't one that sees a good thing in front of him. I did tell him if he takes one thing from his experience with me it's to be sure that his next partner is tested, you never know (since 30-34% of women between 30-49 have H and he/I are in our 40's). I hope to have a follow up that can be posted to the success stories, I'm going to think positive. Thank you to all who have posted there stories to help me have the courage to have the "talk". Love you all.

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I'm proud of you, Dreaming! Your integrity is solid. Good job being ready with information for him, too. It sounds like regardless of how he ends up being, it was a huge success as far as I'm concerned! High five and big hug! :) (And happy new year right back atcha, too!)

 

P.S. And for anyone wondering what those %s are that Dreaming is talking about, here are all the links for you!

 

Handouts:

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

 

Disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

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Dreaming:

 

Welcome to the forums! And GOOD FOR YOU! Sounds like your disclosure was "successful"...whatever his overall reaction. He may have to go and think and research (in which case, send him here ;) ) so he understands the risks and knows how to protect himself. And yeah, guys over 40 don't like condoms much. Their "tallywacker" (as HarrytheHerp calls it) usually doesn't much appreciate the confines of a Trojan even with all the lovely colors, textures, and sizes we have to play with nowadays. Guess I can't blame them :p

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