Words of encouragement hope and wisdom from all U H Warriors please:)

[Reality]

So here's my deal. Coming off a 14 year marriage which ended in divorce with one son I gave myself some time but was looking for love so I dated online briefly and met a couple jerks but thought I found a good guy. Two months later I contracted H2. I am still waiting for his test results but I know he gave me the virus. We grew closer over the period of six months seeing each other exclusively but I had doubt from the beginning and stayed in the relationship continuing to have unprotected sex. I had a full screen of STDs and will be getting another screen in a couple of months. Last night I received a drunk text stating that he's not my guy that I should move on that I'm too good for him and he doesn't deserve me. All of which I know in my heart is true. But the rejection hurts like hell.

I know that I have to get back to me and my son I'm struggling to find that strength. I am a mother I'm sister I'm a friend I'm a hairstylist with my own business... I practice yoga I go to church I had my life together before I met this guy after going through some tough times with my divorce. Right now I feel like my world is crashing down and having the virus has added even more stress. I am learning to deal with the virus much better than before and with your support and just reading your spirits on this page has given me much hope and realizing that it could be a lot worse in life

I know it's a sign from God because I asked for direction that I received that text last night I'm so tempted to respond to it this morning but help me people do the right thing lol. I need to find me again and know that a lot of you have gotten to that point and could really use a pick me up. I have lost ME in all this mess. I'm not treating my body right and it's paying for it. Help Guys... WVSDancer. Harry...Adrial...TheDr. And anyone else that has been in a similar situation (Sorry if I misspelled anyone's names). I'm asking for the kick in the ass I need it just might help get me out of this mental n emotional funk I have been in since diagnosed in October. Love you guys.

[HerryTheHerp]

Hey Reality,

 

Come back to reality. First, you are still a mother, a sister, a hairstylist, and you have your own business. That's 4 awesome things and it sounds like they're doing alright. Herpes can't touch any of those aspects of your life if you don't let it. So, that's 4 on one side against your love life on the other. That means your life isn't crashing down; one part of it just had a little prick give it a little poke and it's deflated at the moment. ;)

 

I think we all go through our phases after diagnosis where our bodies suffer. We stop exercising, we pig out on junk food to cope, in extreme cases we join the circus, change our names, and travel the world aimlessly looking to find ourselves again. That's normal and you are far from alone in your feelings. Trust me, I've smoked more, walked less, and cried plenty over this and last week I looked in the mirror and said "Enough!"

 

This virus has a funny way of exposing the real you. It strips every emotion bare and exposes what's inside of you. That can be painful and a bit scary, and everyone reading this can completely understand. Many of us are still waiting for window periods to expire, and we know your feelings all to intimately.

 

Rejection hurts. It can hurt especially bad when you're wounded emotionally and physically. While it can be very tempting to reach out and verbally slap this guy, I'd suggest you hold off. He was drunk, and there are some details you left out of your story, so I'm going to assume the possibility for now that he didn't know he had the virus and is in shock himself.

 

Conversely, if he did know and didn't tell you, then deliberately exposing you was awful (and a serious character flaw in my book) and most likely occurred because he went through exactly what you're feeling right now with the sense of fear, rejection, and loss of both self and self-esteem. If that's the case, he didn't tell you because he couldn't face up to those fears again and he's hurting in part because of that. Based on what he wrote and the way you explained it, it sounds like that's most likely the case and he's feeling pretty gosh darned guilty and alone himself. I'd say take it easy before you go blowing up or burning bridges, get all the facts/details, then only you can decide what to do. Give it time, step back, then think the problem through rather than letting emotions guide you.

 

For now, write out a list of all the things that make you the person you are. Write all the good things. A mother, a sister, a business owner, a master of the coif. Don't write anything negative on that list. Then, read and reread that list and think about it as you sit down on your yoga mat and ponder what you've just written and read.

 

Then, say a prayer. God has a funny way of listening intently when we need to bend his ear. He also has a funny way of helping you find groups like this when you need a response to your questions because he's often the strong silent type.

 

[Reality]

Herry....thank u muchly for your response. U make a lot of sense dude!!! He said he didn't know and has procrastinated with getting his bloodwork back n gets frustrated when I question him. Which leads me to believe he knew. I once again put my trust in someone. Definitely a hard lesson learned. Your words just confirm what I know is true but it helps to hear it from someone going thru H. Thank you!! I'm a fixer....he is right if he's unhappy with himself I can't fix it. It hurts in the process. But I don't want people like that in my life.

I didn't respond and I won't out of anger. I'm not a mean person n give people the benefit of the doubt. But yes. Re prioritizing is my goal. Building from here.

I will heal just as we all will. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger... Right?!! Xxoo

[WCSDancer2010]

Reality..

 

As you know, Herry hit the nail on the head .... said everything I was thinking...

 

but I had doubt from the beginning and stayed in the relationship continuing to have unprotected sex.

 

Honey - we've ALL been there. I mean, you finally get someone who is in the BALLPARK of what you want and gosh don't we all hope we can turn that base-hitter into Babe Ruth...because the thought of starting all over AGAIN is just too exhausting and painful.... if we are lucky we realize that this guy needs to be put back in the dugout and we get out of the game, but sooo many people stay in those relationships because they fear being alone yet again...... and they lead the life of someone who is not alone, but they are still lonely. You can thank your lucky Herpster friend for getting you out of that one. He's your new Wing-man. Honest. You will be able to sort the jerks and the ones who want to GET into you (but they really are not that "into" you) out of your life.... you will eventually find a guy who loves you, warts, pimples, blisters, and all...promise ;)

 

 

BTW, GUYS! Please! Listen up! Last night I received a drunk text stating that he's not my guy that I should move on that I'm too good for him and he doesn't deserve me.

 

Really? Can't you come up with something better to use to break up with someone? I've heard that sooooo many times.... next guy to say it is getting a big-assed slap from me because it's a load of CROCK. If you are not into me.... if you have met someone else... if you are still rebounding from your ex....if you are ashamed that you may have given me an STD....whatever. Please. Just be honest...cause that line is getting OLD!!!!! X(

 

((((HUGS))) -

 

Got you a theme song (and this is payback to HerrytheHerp)

 

[Reality]

WCSDancer

[hope75]

@WCSDancer2010 omg this song... I was only singing this last week with my sis reminiscing..

and @Reality hope your feeling better. Your in a good place here. We have a lot in common so if you ever want to pm me feel free :-)

 

[Reality]

@hope. I would so love love love that. Thank you for the offer. There are some dang good peeps here.

[WCSDancer2010]

Reality...somehow your message to me didn't come through :p

[Reality]

Oh my. I see that. Hmmm weird.

I just wanted to thank you for your continued support and that video ROCKS. that was one of my Old School jams back in the day:). But yes back to Life...Back to Reality (me).

He has been texting me all day apologizing for his stupidity last night. Why not realize it BEFOREHAND?? That would be too easy eh?

[WCSDancer2010]

Rule #1 of life - Never EVER Drunk Text... LOL :D

 

Tell him that was just another "Learning Experience"

 

(One of my favorite bumper stickers ever says "Oh no, not ANOTHER learning experience!)

[Reality]

Also Herry....I have been smoking up a storm too. That can't be good for the virus. I quit for years n picked those suckers back up. Ugh. I am having lots of leg muscle spasms n vaginally too. Lower abdominal discomfort...(is this the abdominal stuff part of the prodome symptoms) anyone?

I'm on suppressives. I found acyclovir for 13bucks a month weeeeee

[Reality]

LMAO Dancer....I have seen that sticker too funny:)

It wouldn't be his first drunk text either.....

[WCSDancer2010]

Slow learner, eh?

[Reality]

Um. Yes for certain....lol.

Hey at least I'm laughing. Thanks ;-)

 

I'm thinking you meant I am the slow learner?

That would be for certain too

[WCSDancer2010]

I meant him... given the "not the first drunk text" comment :)

 

[Reality]

Gotcha:)

[victoriaxxx]

Yeah I learned that first hand. Don't drunk text. I had feelings that only arrived when I was drunk. Lmao.