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Information about herpes transmission between two men

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After a few years of having negative blood tests but believing I had herpes, I had the positive result for both HSV1 and HSV2. At least I know and can move forwards with that.


I'm gay and there doesn't appear to be any information online about the percentage risks of passing it on to other men. Does anyone have any insight into this? I've just started seeing someone and want to know what our risk is. I haven't told him yet and of course am worried that he might not accept it.


It seems the gay world doesn't really talk about herpes - I never knew much about it until I got something, so perhaps this site can bring some more gay men to come together.

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Gay, straight, black, or white, this virus knows no distinctions. It's just as happy in a vajajay as it is on a willy. As long as it can find a host to infect, it doesn't discriminate.


The same rules apply to reduce risk of transmission in your situation. Condoms for both oral and penetration, avoid doing it during an OB or when you think you are shedding.


Gay world doesn't talk about herpes? Neither does the straight world. The only time either talk about it is to tell jokes about it, and those jokes are usually born out of a fear of contracting it.


Male to male transmission is harder than female-male, male-female, but it's not risk free. I'm assuming you contracted it male-male, so you know that. If you want to reduce the already low risk even further, you could go on suppressive therapy.


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First - welcome to the Forum.... Glad you found us!


It seems the gay world doesn't really talk about herpes Honey, the straight world doesn't talk about it either. The ONLY world that admits it is present AND accepts it is the Adult Film/Sex industry (I have a client who is an Escort so I get the inside scoop...as it were... from her :p)


I would say your risk is the same 5% as F-M .... cut by half if you use Supressive therapy and half again with condoms so you can get your risk down to the 1-2% area (possibly less depending on your own immune system). The percentage has nothing to do with the giver - it has to do with the amount of skin we females have around the labia/vagina that is thin and easily rubbed so that the virus can gain entry easier. That said... anal sex WILL likely up your percentages a bit as the skin is thinner in the inside of that area.... but a condom should do a good job of protection there (it's less of a help for us women as our lovely lady-lips are often outside the area of the condom).


Also, until you know if you have your HSV1 Oral or genital, you may want to take care with Oral sex (have you ever had cold sores? ).


I've been on supressive therapy in my last relationship with a guy whose immune system is getting more compromised every day (he's since come down with an auto-immune issue). We didn't use condoms and he never got it from me and I have H1 oral and H2 genital and we both gave a LOT of oral sex, so it CAN be controlled.


(((HUGS))) my friend. Hope that helps a bit!

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Hi there,


Thanks for your replies - I appreciate the positive nature of this site and the people who post on here. I just went to a different doctor who was much better than my previous one (plus he was gay too which helps!). He has given me Valtrex to take as a daily suppressant and to see how that goes over 6 months and whether the symptoms I get do go away. He said the drug isn't that difficult for the body unless I had kidney problems which I don't (as far as I know!).


I have yet to tell the guy I'm dating - in fact I'm more scared about the commitment thing than the herpes right now. It's been the story of my life - run away from someone special and then realize what I missed out on. It's a pattern that I'm trying to unlearn.


Will keep you posted and if there are any other gay men on here, please say hello. Is there the ability to send private messages on here?



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I'm more scared about the commitment thing than the herpes right now. It's been the story of my life - run away from someone special and then realize what I missed out on. It's a pattern that I'm trying to unlearn.


Ahhh grasshopper - maybe THAT is the lesson that your H friend has been sent for you to learn ... you'd me amazed at how many people with H have amazing transformations around themselves, around love, and around life in general ;)


Private messages - heck yeah! Look under where it says (h)forum and you will see a link for your inbox. If you want to send someone a message, click on their name and when the link comes up, look in the small box on the left above where their profile details are... you will see the message link - I just sent one to you to start you off :)



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