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He loves me...he loves me NOT

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I have had herpes for 15 yrs. Lovely boyfriend said he didn't know he had it....and here I am today.

I've had successful long term relationships with men who adored me and loved me unconditionally. I was even married and had a baby VAGINALLY with no issues. I've been symptom free for many many years because I take a valtrex a day.

Now I've been single for the past 3 years and am fining at age 37 not many men are willing to accept the dirty secret. I've been hurt, ridiculed, politely declined many times over. I'm feeling worthless and unlovable. Like I have to lower my standards in order to find a man to accept me....even though being symptom free is like not having it at all...but it's my duty to inform regardless. I can't imagine having a fatal horrible disease....if I feel this lonely and heart broken with a skin virus..my god...how would I handle anything worse.

Thanks for reading....needing support and ideas.

The H online dating scene is horrid. Especially in MAINE!


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First, Welcome to the Forum.....you are in the right place for support and information...


And I year ya! I've had this for 35 years (longer if you include HSV 1 as a very young child.) And I was married for over 20 years and had 2 children and have had a couple relationships since then with men who were ok with my H status (although one totally freaked out at first...eventually got over it). But I've had my fair share of men who chose to walk away.... and IT SUCKS!


How you look at something can either empower you or dis-empower you. I have chosen to let it empower me. I now look at my H-friend as my Wing-man. He's really, REALLY good at getting the guys out of my life who are not what I want. The guys who are not into ME, but they want to GET into me. The guys who are high maintenance (ie: if they got it, it WOULD be the end of the world as they know it because they couldn't imagine having some imperfection). The guys who would blame me for it. The guys who just plain have personal traits that wouldn't work for me in the end. And once I have gotten over the disappointment and the rejection (lets admit it, rejection just plain sucks) I could see how those guys were not what *I* really want.


So spend some time on here, look around and read what you can. We have so many success stories with discordant couples (H+ and H-) on here. I promise you, you CAN find love with Herpes. You just have not found the right man ;)



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