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Online dating with herpes

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So I just signed on to a dating site and I decided to meet the person in person. I'm completely new to the online dating and I haven't dated much in general. This February I will have a year with ghsv1. While on my meet and greet the guy made a comment about a situation. And his comment was he doesn't want to catch an std. Which I get it. If I had a choice I wouldn't want one either. But that comment made me think about needing to have the herpes talk eventually. It's to say it is with him, but in general. I don't see him as potential partner but more as a friend with no benefits. He seems really nice.

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Great to meet you :)


So I've had a little experience with online dating .. and the first thing I'll say is "Buyer Beware" ... LOL ;)


While there are a lot of good people who are looking for love, many are whack jobs and I've recently figured out a lot are rebounding or are serial daters. So first piece of advice. Proceed with every one of your prospects with caution. Don't rush anything. You don't have anything but what they say to go by. Noone to go to to ask about their past. Nothing. So state up front you want to proceed slowly and then stick to it. Don't let them rush you.


The second reason is that you need to find out how they feel about STD's and all the OTHER reasons they may not be a good match. It's so easy to take it personally when someone walks when we have the talk but there are 101 other things that can make them an unsuitable match before you even get there. Kids. Smoking. Dietary habits. Lifestyle habits. etc.


So - here's the deal - you say you see him as a friend and that's it. Well, maybe he's a good person to practice "the talk" with. I'd personally say something like "You are a really nice guy and I'd love to be your friend, but we probably are not a great match because you made it clear you don't want an STD and I have to be honest with you... I happen to have Herpes - you know - the exact one most people get on their mouth...well, I have it in the other area. I respect your feelings so lets just be friends".


Now, he may run for the hills but Imma guessing because you take the pressure off by calling the friend card, he'll be understanding AND you may manage to actually educate him about Herpes...and practice your disclosure at the same time. And if he DOES head for the hills, well, that tells you everything you ever need to know about him ;)


Peace :)

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Serial dater is the perfect explanation of some people doing online dating (myself included I think :O )


I've been online dating awhile now and have found some interesting things. There was a situation that I came across that stopped me in my tracks. I do not disclose on my profile that I have H. I had been dating someone and things were getting to the point I disclosed. The guy I had been talking to freaked out on me, even though we hadn't done anything. We had been kissing and that led to him putting my hand where I didn't want it at that point. After I left the date he texted me and told me he had poured a bottle of vodka on his naughty bits (I bet that felt great) and made me really feel down about myself. Then I realized he was just a lonely, somewhat crazy guy from the internet and tried to forget about it.


So be careful out there! There is a reason people date online (including myself) and you should learn as much as you can about them. Because they may just freak out and waste a perfectly good bottle of booze ;)


Good luck!

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@Victoria: Yeah - serial daters are those who go from one person to another ...avoiding any kind of commitment ... sadly a lot of women just use online dating to get free meals and entertainment so they get the rest of us a bad rap. With guys, they are looking for a "fun" night...and will go as far as the girl will let them, with no intention of anything getting serious...although their profile may well say otherwise....


@Bookworm: As far as your date - just shows that ass's ignorance AND it really shows he only wanted to get INTO you...not into YOU ;) So glad you didn't take it personally for too long. Your H friend just helped you see who he really was much sooner than you would have otherwise.



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