Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

How do I cope?

Recommended Posts

Well I found out I had herpes (hsv2) not that long ago and even tho I have this amazing person by my side making my days happy and I really appreciate him with all my heart I'm still so sad in the inside. I'm just holding back so many tears, thoughts, and anger that I just want to let go of. I have absolutely nothing to complain about I have a great job a roof over my head an amazing boyfriend that accepted me for me, but why why why am I so sad? Why am I bringing my self down I'm being my worst enemy and taking away my own happiness. I guess I'm asking when does this sadness go away? What are good book to read about acceptance, have any of you read any? What are good words of wisdom because my thoughts aren't making sense right now. :(

Link to comment

I just wanted to say that you can read all the books you want to about acceptance, but the fact is that you need to accept it and grow with it yourself. It will teach you that no matter what the situation is you can still grow and love yourself. The tears didn't go away after I came to accept it.. Sometimes those tears and sadness helps you grow stronger with yourself. You just have to keep telling yourself that this is me. This is what I have. I am still Mel_b (: You are you. No one can change you. As humans we are amazing. Herpes or no herpes. (:

Link to comment

Hi Mel...


What we are not told when we are diagnosed is the mental toll this takes on so many. Because for some (not all) there is a belief that you "old life" is over and your future is doomed to be controlled by this virus. True, life will be a *little* different at times and there WILL be challenges like dealing with Outbreaks and Disclosures but life will otherwise get back to a "new normal".


In essence, you have suffered a death.... it could be a death of innocence, a death of trust, a death of a relationship (partner or friends leaving), a death of your belief in yourself and your self worth. Whatever the "death" has been, you must go through what are known as the 5 stages of Grief to come to acceptance. You can find out more here: http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/000617


You say you are holding back the tears.... honey... go ahead and let them out. You MUST let them out. Repressing the sadness is breaking the natural path to your recovery and acceptance. Pound a pillow. Cry till you are dry. Come rant on here. It's all good. Let your BF know that you just need to process things and give him permission to tell you if he needs a break from it - and if he does, come on here ... that is what we are here for...to support folks like you in your journey.


(((HUGS))) You WILL come through this. Just be patient and believe in the process...

Link to comment

Mel, I find that we tend to be hardest on ourselves. I am my worst critic. I will beat myself up over something long after everyone else has forgotten about it. Not just about herpes (Thought I beat myself up over that until I couldn't take it anymore).


Sometimes you just have to let yourself feel. Talk about it until you can't anymore. Come on here and talk about it until it feels more "normal". Cry it out. Eat a bucket of ice cream. Instead of holding it in, get it out. Eventually you won't feel so bad about it anymore. You will be able to accept it and move on.


What helped me was getting on here and talking about it. Sharing my experiences and advice. I talk to other people so they can start to accept themselves, in turn accepting myself for the same thing. You aren't alone in this :)

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...