How to cope ?

[Elliotj]

This is my short story I spent the summer traveling round Greece where I most of picked up the virus but I didn't show symptoms till 5 months after is that normal ? I'ts been hard to accept it I haven't been my self after I found out and I have not told any one I was just wondering how long it took you guys to be happy again and come to terms thank you :)

[HerryTheHerp]

Hi Elliot,

 

A few of us picked it up while traveling. It happens. I'd ask if you had a good time in Greece, but, uh, well, it's pretty clear you did. ;)

 

Yeah, the virus can lay dormant that long before showing symptoms. There's no real rhyme or reason, and some people show symptoms right away, others not until year's later, some never at all. It's a sneaky li'l virus that way.

 

As far as being happy and coming to terms, well, again, everyone does it in their own time. I'm 4 months in and have good days, bad days, and it's a process for us all. But, you're in a good forum with good people, and the sun has risen yet again.

[Elliotj]

Thanks for the support and my doctor has helped a lot he said it isn't even a big deal the way I see it it could be a lot worse and I could picked up something a a lot worse so that gets me through it a bit I hope one day I can laugh about this situation :)

[HerryTheHerp]

From the medical perspective, your doc is right. It's not a big deal. It's no worse than a cold sore...oh wait, it is just cold sores.

 

Psychologically, it's a little bit bigger. And, trust me, I hear you on the picking other things up. It's a huge relief when that test comes back negative, isn't it?

 

You'll laugh, you'll smile, you'll remember your time in the Med fondly.

[Elliotj]

I had really bad anxiety for past 2 months about other STDs mostly HIV ! So I had a blood test and got my results back today and everything is clear I've never been so happy it's just a massive lesson Learned and he subscribed me a month suppressive tablets so I hope that helps thing

[HerryTheHerp]

As long as you're 90 days or more past your last exposure, I'd be taken those results to Red Lobster and celebrating. A lot of us definitely understand that huge sigh of relief the comes from getting that out of the way.

 

Life's all about lessons. Unfortunately, herpes is one of those that is slippery, even when you know the facts, stats, and truth. Fortunately, we can use our experience and knowledge to help others. And, of course it just depends on our perspective. I know in a lot of countries, it's just not a big deal at all. Heck, 68% of women in Greenland have HSV2 (no need to wonder how they're keeping warm in winter, huh?)

 

Now, if you feel like heading back to Europe anytime soon, Sweden, Norway, Bulgaria, and even prim and proper Switzerland have female HSV2 rates approaching 30% or greater. Surprisingly, Italy and France have rates lower than 5%.

[Elliotj]

Wow good facts I think I've became an expert of the herpes virus with all the research I've done does it getter better after time ?

[HerryTheHerp]

It does, but it takes time. The more I research, the better I feel. It doesn't make it easier because I still feel a part of my old self is gone forever. Do the symptoms get better? Yes, for the vast, vast majority of people, they quiet down and it's nothing more than a minor annoyance every now and then.

 

Emotionally? Well, I have good days, bad days. We all do, but again, the more I learn, the better I feel and the bad days get a lot less severe. That said, I did have a doozy of a Valentine's weekend. But, we all do the same thing; we get up, get dressed, move forward. Fortunately, you're in the US and there are plenty of groups/resources available.

[Elliotj]

I live in England haha I feel a bit of my old self coming back i just hope my future girlfriend can take the info in if she does I have no fear what so ever

[HerryTheHerp]

England has a low rate, something like 5-10%, but some excellent resources and groups. I know, I've looked. I thought about moving there for a bit, but the fact that you guys still speak the Queen's stopped me. For God's sake, crisps are chips, it's a TV not a tele, and you can drop the "u" from words like color and favor. Man, even the Canadians are catching on to how to properly speak English. :)

 

Find a Polish girl. From reports, Polish girls when they get to England go wild, and the HSV rates are skyrocketing within the community there. Should make it easier to find an understanding girlfriend.

 

[Elliotj]

Haha I wanna move to America and I'm confident I will find a understanding girl somewhere

[Elliotj]

And have u ever told a girl sore for the third degree

[HerryTheHerp]

1 in 4. Go down South. Beautiful women with charm and style are so common down there you'll be finding them off with a cricket bat. Plus, you've got an English accent. You're golden.

[WCSDancer2010]

Elliotj

 

Hello and welcome!

 

I'm just going to chime in quickly (Herry has given you much of what you need) and say Hi and to let you know, it DOES get better. It's up to you if you let the stigma (much of which is in your head) get to you. I've had it most of my life and I've had 3 wonderful relationships... 2 of which I disclosed to (didn't know I had it with the first till he got it...that explained the "rash" :( ) and both were H- . One didn't blink - the other freaked but calmed down and decided I was worth the risk.

 

Today I get a few minor OB's here and there but barely notice them. Life is good.

 

And I had a quick look at your profile photo. You are a handsome guy (it's probably what got you into this mess too...LOL!) . I have no doubt you will find a wonderful young lady when the time is right.

 

(((HUGS)))

[WCSDancer2010]

OMG Herry - The accent...

 

My ex hubby is British - we met over here in Tennessee. Going to a restaurant was a nightmare.... once the waitress opened her mouth, and he replied, I might as well not have been there. He wanted to hear more of her accent (my parents were Scottish and English so my accent was mild even tho I was raised int he south) and visa versa. It was like watching a verbal tennis match as they would encourage the other to talk more. :p

[Elliotj]

Thanks so much for your kind words medically it's not a big deal it's nothing more then a minor skin and my obs don't cause me that much problems it's just the bloody stigma I never in my life thought about herpes and now it's all I think about

[WCSDancer2010]

What I am finding is that the stigma is 75% in your head and 25% reality. I say that because most educated people in my age bracket were raised in a time when herpes didn't have the stigma so it isn't a big deal to many of us anyway. In my experience, the younger and less educated the age group, the more likely you are to find people who have the negative reaction to someone with an STD.

 

I came out completely on FB, to my personal friends, AND on my online dating profiles recently. I got to a point where I didn't care any more what people think. And you know what? The "worst" reaction was that the last guy I dated refuses to talk to me now. Out of over 1,000 FB friends, countless personal friends, and who knows how many guys who have read my online profiles, only one person walked away from me. Most have applauded my "bravery" ( I didn't think it was brave... I just got pissed off enough at the stigma to decide I wouldn't let it run my life any more ;) ). I have had plenty of guys actually message me and say they liked my honesty and straight forward approach to life and Herpes. You may want read my journey here http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1754/im-out-of-the-herpes-closet

 

My experiences are telling me that it won't take much for us to turn this thing around as a group. And Adrial and I have a lot of things planned to make that change. But even if things never changed, IMO, how YOU approach this is how the people around you will react to it. If you feel shame, they will see you as shameful... if you see yourself as a beautiful person which a skin condition, people will see you as that. It's your choice :)

 

Peace