I just found out I have herpes

[avita2590]

I just found out yesterday I had herpes and the thing is I know that I am the only one to blame for trusting. I feel like my life is over I don't know what to do. I talked to the doc and he just acted like it was no big deal said 1 of 6 people have it and it's really common and then said I had to take medicine for life. I have a great awesome partner I've been dating thank god we never had sex. I don't know what to do hes a great guy but all I can think is that I deserve to be alone forever. I'm mexican and anyone who knows won't accept it I think they're going to think I'm a slut or that I deserved :( which I think I did. I feel so lost, I was raped years ago and I survived it an say it proudly but this feels so much worse. I don't know what to do. I'm about to turn 24 next month I'm too young. I dreamt of a husband a family but what can I inspire to when I feel they would reject me automatically. Me and my soon to be ex spoke about my doctors visit and I did explain that I have to take medication for life but I couldn't get the words I have herpes to leave my mouth. I was diagnosed with h2 and the doc said as long as I took the pills and was careful the chances of me infecting were minimal but that I should tell my partner but I can't. I don't know what to do pls help!

[lt05]

Hi avita2590,

 

I'm very sorry to hear about you going through both situations. I know it is nasty and may seem terrifying at first, but you are not alone. Regardless of the situation of how it happend, you have it now, but this doesnt have to control or DEFINE who you are. You will learn how to deal with this and there are lots of people to support you here. The feeling of disgust is temporary. Take it from me and many others who will agree with me here. I found out 3 months ago and i felt worthless, disgusting, all of those things. And just 3 months later, i still have up and down days, but i am FAR much more confident living with this than i was before. PLEASE remember this does not ruin your life! This is a very manageable situation and over time it won't seem like that big of a deal. Do your research, read, read, read! The more info the better. It really is true that the stigma about herpes is worse than the actual "disease". Take it day by day, one step at a time. No one is expecting you to feel better right away, i cried for hours, but i am doing much better now. Always remember you are not alone and vent if you must here whenever you need to! You can private msg me if you like, anytime!

[WCSDancer2010]

@avita2590

 

First, Welcome! You are among friends here :)

 

It05 is right - your life is NOT over! I've had H2 for 35 years and I have had a wonderful life with a 20 year marriage (where I gave it to my now ex because we didn't know what that "rash" was..we split for other reasons) and I've had 2- three year relationships with H- guys who accepted me AND my H status. I've had 2 beautiful daughters and a "normal" life.

 

There is no reason to say your BF is your "soon to be ex".... if he truly loves you he will work with you to get through this. If you have survived a rape then this you will survive this. For all you know, you could have got it from that.... it sounds like you had this awhile. Either way, you are a strong woman to have risen above the rape and you will rise above this too.

 

Print out and read these handouts and the e-book so you understand the situation better... and so you have it for your BF when you tell him.

 

Handouts:

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

 

Disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Knowledge is power and when you understand what this is (and it really IS a nuisance skin condition in a really awkward place!) then you will be more empowered to deal with it. But trust me, life WILL go on. :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[avita2590]

So I told my boyfriend and he said it was fine that we would survive because he loves me I did discuss how afraid I am and he told me to get informed because it didn't sound very serious the way my doctor explained it. So I need help with more information on spreading the virus if I take the antibiotics?

[WCSDancer2010]

That is great to hear. Good guy :)

 

They are not antibiotics - they are anti-virals - they slow the replication of the virus. Again, you need to read the fliers. You will see in them that the daily suppressive therapy can cut your risk from 5% to about 2% .. condoms will reduce it further to about 1%.

 

Show your BF the fliers and this site - go on this together and read all you can. The more you read the more it will all make sense :)

 

Peace