Would you disclose herpes to a casual sex partner ?

[steven90]

Since I found out that I am H+ all I been thinking about is how am I going to do with my dating life or casual partner I know a potential partner should know it because it's not good to enter in a relationship with secrets specially this one that could also affects them, but how about with lets say no string attach partner or just night stand even though that to me one night stands is mostly over maybe not because my condition but been afraid of catching something else worst.

 

Please be the most sincere as you can, I just wants to know everybody thoughts and opinion, and for what I have read looks like in cases like this is a little bit easier for girls been accepted from guys than guys from girls, women are more afraid of it that's what I think so I can be wrong too.

[lt05]

@steven90,

 

In my opinion, whether its casual sex or a committed relationship, everyone has the right to know. casual or relationship doesn't change the fact that there is always a chance of someone else getting it. (although i assume you would be smart enough to use protection) when i first found out i was kind of bitter and thought why should other people know if i didnt have the choice of knowing? But as time went on this also changed my perspective of sex, love, relationships. i would never want to put someone else through what i went through. so i decided, dont get bitter, get better! :)

but hey thats just me!

[zyphen]

Hello steven,

 

It is all about accepting yourself first mate. This does not change who you are as a person. A woman will see your personality, how you act, how you hold yourself, your demeanors, and everything else she might like about you before she even finds out about your status. If she is already interested in you based off her perceptions about you, take the time to get to know her then. Physical part of a relationship is just that, physical. If you take the time to get to know someone, when you are intimate it is more than just sex. So, if you can build up that attraction first, give her the facts, and she stays, you know she is there for more than just the physical aspect.

 

With one night stands, you are putting yourself at risk there too, even before you found out about your H+ status. You have the risk of catching something else with one night stands, and the worst thing of them all is (getting her pregnant) all for just a one night stand, and then you would have a baby to take care of with a woman you just wanted to hook up with.

 

There are risks in everything we do in life, and having Herpes is a grain of sand compared to the grand scheme of all the dangers in life. You could die going to work from a vehicle accident, go to sleep and not wake up, have a pulmonary embolism, heart attack, stroke, lose an arm, leg, or both. I could go on and on, but I'm sure you see where I am going with this.

 

Your dating life is not over. I understand the human nature of just wanting to hook up and never see that person again, but if anything, and a lot of people here have plenty of success stories to share, this will help you weed out the ones who just want to get with you, compared to those who want to be with you.

 

As far as if girls being accepted from guys easier than guys being accepted from girls, I would wait for some of the other people on here to share insight on that. Its all about education, and it is our job to help get rid of the stigma.

 

Herpes has been linked back as far as 400-300 BC, and it was never that big of a deal until somewhere around 1960's when the stigma came into place (someone correct me if I am wrong on when it started).

 

Just keep your head up, and keep asking questions, learning, talk about; like I said, this is only a minute aspect of the grand scheme we call life.

[WCSDancer2010]

@zyphen

 

Ah Grasshopper, you make me smile ... I couldn't have said it better :)

 

As for when the stigma started... it was more likely the 80's... I got it in the late 70's and it was no big deal then .. a lot had to do with when Acyclovir came out - it was expensive and no one bothered with it until they made it into a thing you had to do to keep the world from getting your "cooties". Lets just say they could have got the message out in a much more "positive" light than they did :p

[Equanimous]

@steven90

 

I got our H-friend through a casual partner. While she claims to have not known..I have my doubts. And I definitely wish that the other person would have disclosed. We could have taken extra precautions..and if i still got it I wouldn't have spend a few weeks seething about the unfairness of it all.

 

In my mind, there is only one answer..disclose..whatever be the circumstance. Everyone has the right to know that herpes is not a big deal.