My thoughts inspired me to write :)

[VirgoGirl]

Following a year of disaster and distress, comes a time of long awaited fulfillment and renewal. A breath of fresh relief. A glimpse into what can be.

 

My tears of pain have been shed, with hopes that tears of joy will follow.

 

I sit here alone and wonder where I'll find myself this up-coming year, but creating expectations only leads to unfulfilled desires and disapointments. To learn to live for today takes time. To accept the past as stepping stones in life that will lead me on the right path. This is an art I am trying to achieve.

 

With courage and strength, I'll walk into the unknown with my head up high. Don't look back, move straight ahead, into the ever-changing, always-spinning World.

 

Life has a way of throwing me into the eye of the hurricane at the most unexpected moments. I try to hold on, as a flurry of madness and emotions encompass me. I try to seek shelter, as I'm swirling around in the depths of darkness. Yet, when the storm finally settles, I am left standing in silence, with the debris of my past life scattered amongst the horizon.

 

I seek strength in solitude, and peace in the unknown.

 

But, I realize I'm still alive.

And that's what really matters in the end.

[lelani]

I totally got this Virgo Girl and love how you wrote it...I have been thrown into the hurricane many times and wondered how I could hold on too. I left a message for Adrial about this very thing today...that there is no coming into consciousness without pain. I don't ask 'why?' any more but 'bring it on'...I have learned that you can create your own light out of darkness. And all of life is art...how you get out of bed in the morning, the clothes you wear, how you love others and yourself, what you eat and how you make it...and how you work through the dark times. you can still paint a picture when the paint has spilled, it's a bit messier and you have to do a bit of cleaning up but you can still make something beautiful :-)

 

I have been contemplating my last year too...is it a birthday thing ;-)?

 

This time last year I didn't know I had H...and now I look back on the diagnosis, just after my birthday, and my journey to accepting it. I am in a totally different place for this birthday..no more crying, feeling ashamed, wondering how I will be loved again (well I still wonder that sometimes). I am thankful, for those who do love me, for learning to love myself more and for being able to celebrate being single and independent and loving my life. I have become a better friend, mother, daughter and have made such deeper connections with people through H. I have thrown myself into projects and things that I love to do and stepped out of my comfort zone in so many ways.

 

So we both made it another year and yes...its great to be alive. So dry your tears...thing about creating instead of expecting. A huge hug for you my fellow Virgo girl. x

 

 

[VirgoGirl]

Fellow Virgos! I like that!

Thanks for responding., Your words are always so inspiring to read, and yes, I think it may be a birthday thing! or a 'changing of the seasons' thing! I feel this way every fall :)

 

I feel that H has made me a much stronger person as well, so I can very much relate to what you write. Its still fairly fresh (only been 2 months since I found out) but I have made significant progress, in just the last month with my emotions.

 

I am learning to love being independent as well. It feels very good! I do get lonely though sometimes, as I am sure we all do, but putting yourself first, and making sure you are truly happy, is very important. I count my blessings, and think of all the good things to be grateful for, and that really helps.

 

Hugs to you too! xx