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Just diagnosed with genital herpes- help!

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Last week, my boyfriend (of over a year) came home from being gone for three weeks and I was playing with his nephews who had the flu a week beforehand. (we did have sexual intercourse during the weekend) About 24 hours after I returned to college from visiting, I got the flu and could not sleep at all because I was up all night by the toilet and after it stopped, I had awful aches. The following day, I thought I had a yeast infection and immediately went to get monistat. Wednesday, I noticed a few painful bumps and by Thursday I was in so much pain it was hard to walk and sit. I got into the doctor Friday and she confirmed it was herpes and got a culture/blood test.


I have several questions that I am struggling with and its just hard to understand.

My boyfriend has had multiple partners before me, is it possible he was carrying the virus our entire relationship (1 year) and it got triggered by stress? He is in flight school and during the three weeks he was away was constantly saying how much stress he was under and lack of sleep.


Would he have symptoms if it randomly became active under his high stress?


Could I have come in contact with the virus earlier with him, but it just now triggered because of the flu?


Of course, there is the possibility he was unfaithful, but I want to make sure I cover every possibility and not to lay blame because he may not know he has the disease.


If you have answers or thoughts, please share. It will be much appreciated. Thank you.



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Hello and welcome!


So the short answer is yes to all the above. Yes, either of you could have been carrying it for some time. Yes, stress/flu could have triggered it to finally show itself. And, sadly, yes, he may have cheated.


Probably the best way to deal with this is to tell him that you've had some symptoms of something and you think you should BOTH be tested.... and go together so you can be advised together regarding the test results. Right now, you will not show up on an IgG test...which shows that you have the virus once it is well established... if you were only recently exposed. You MAY show up on an IgM (which isn't as reliable) which shows that you were recently exposed. It's not usually recommended to do the IgM but it might help you establish if you have recently got it from him or if you have had it awhile.


I would go to Planned Parenthood rather than your Dr - they can give you a sliding scale cost if you need it and they are very used to dealing with STD's in both sexes.


(((HUGS))) my friend.... let us know how things work out

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I forgot to mention: most doctors here still treat it the way your doctor knows. So knowledge about the disease doesn' spread soon. In fact. Most of the doctors here still treat it like normal acne presuming that losing weight or stop smoking cures Hidradenitis

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