I did it! Herpes talk success!

[Shannon (SingBlueSilver)]

I had "the herpes talk" last night with a new guy. I think it can really go somewhere with him, so I didn't want to get too emotionally involved without having the discussion. I was torn by the idea that you take time to get to know someone really well first and then tell or tell early so that I don't get too attached and get more hurt later. I decided that I wanted to know how he really felt about me because I already knew I liked him and wanted more.

 

I probably didn't "spin" it as well as I should have with all the positive statements as Adrial suggests in his ebook. (Which is wonderful, BTW). But I just said that I have herpes and it's "technically" not a big deal as it's not life threatening and really doesn't have too many symptoms once the outbreaks calm down. I told him that I really liked him and didn't want to go further without giving him the opportunity to make a decision about me. I cried. He thanked me for telling him and said he didn't care. He still wanted me just as much as ever. I was a bit shocked actually. I was convinced that I couldn't find someone despite all the positive advice I'd gotten from friends.

 

I'm so happy I was wrong.

 

He went to far as to say he still wanted sex...right then. So...we did. This relationship may not last, but I'm actually very OK with that because I needed to know that I was still desirable to men. I needed proof that many men will accept me. Friends had all told me that I can find another man but until it happened, I didn't believe it really. So, I now know that I CAN do this. I can tell someone in the future if I need to. (Though hopefully this works out!) Probably the first time is the hardest and I'm glad it's over with. Now I hope to get back to feeling better. I'm going to stay on this site and hopefully get more support and support others. If I can do it, you can do it, too!

[lelani]

Yay!!! Hey its such a good feeling aye to overcome that fear and do it! I'm really happy for you SBS and however the relationship goes you are stronger for it and started it with honesty and integrity and strength. It felt great reading this...I know your courage will make a difference for someone. I wish you every good thing with this man :-)