well....... feeling lonelier than ever

[everyday_normalguy]

It's been two years now and i feel lonelier than ever.And sense i have found out i had herpes I've felt lonelier than ever. I just had a girl that i had feelings for and disclosed too get scared and run off. And now i'm afraid that i might have to deal with this again. why should i be afraid to date again. I'm more than scare. What if i never get a girlfriend again. Or what if i never have a kid. Something of my own. Call me sensitive but i worry and it's not easy for me.

[Amillionthings]

Hey,

 

Sorry to hear your feeling lonely, me too...so u aren't alone in feeling that way :)

 

It wasn't clear....you disclosed and the girl didn't accept? I'm really sorry if that's the case...but be proud you had the courage to do it...not everyone discloses so you did a great thing.it shows your a caring and thoughtful person...two amazing qualities to have.

 

:)

 

[WCSDancer2010]

@everyday_normalguy

 

Hi there!

 

@Amillionthings is right - you showed that you have integrity and courage...two things that are missing in so many people today.

 

Try to look at H as a "deal breaker" for some. Just as having children might be for another... or smoking...or a bat-shit crazy stalker ex... distance ...etc. As we get to know people we find out more about them and who they are. And we CHOOSE to accept certain things and walk away from others.

 

I absolutely won't date a smoker. It doesn't mean Smokers are bad (tho I can't understand how anyone affords them nowadays, never mind the health implications)... and anyone who smokes knows that many people will choose to not date them because of that part of them. I've been terribly disappointed many times when I am first communicating with someone and I learn they smoke, but it's one of my deal breakers, that's all. The smoker doesn't feel "shame" about it. Why should you feel shame and be depressed about H?

 

You are young and cute. You obviously are a person who will "do the right thing". That is a HUGE quality that is missing that any smart girl will be glad to find... this girl was not her, that's all.

 

It's hard to deal with rejection. We are hard wired to try to be accepted and loved....rejection actually hits the pain receptors in our body (there's great articles out there on rejection and how it affects our bodies...look it up). It truly cuts us to our core and makes us want to do thing to make people accept and love us. KNOWING THIS, you can learn to understand that these are just feelings and that they will pass.

 

And if you have ever talked to a Salesman, you will hear them say "Every No is bringing you one step closer to a yes". Same goes for relationships. If they are not meant for you, better to find out now and be open for the next opportunity.

 

It's ok and natural to be upset and sad and frustrated and to wonder if you will ever find love right now. But know that these are just emotions... it's not reality. None of us know when that person will walk into our life. Just be thankful that she was honest about her deal breaker and gave you the opportunity to move on and find the right one.

 

(((HUGS)))

 

 

[everyday_normalguy]

sorry about not being unclear. i disclosed to her and then she went out to her car to get something and just left. hurting me very bad.

[Herexperience]

Hang in there, it gets better. You did the right thing. It was best that you found out that she couldn't. I am super impressed with you disclosing. I have never had a man disclose to me. I have had them lie and say they did not have HSV as I was disclosing to them, (later to find that they did in fact have it). Not every man is as extraordinarily brave as you are. For me, the only way I could disclose was before sex, because afterwards it would have been entirely too difficult. I imagine that the later I tell the more difficult it becomes and the more power I give up in the relationship. In the beginning of a relationship, when there is that glow, your partner may be more open to hearing your disclosure, than later when they may feel they have been deceived.

[Amillionthings]

Well said @herecxperience.

 

@everyday_normal guy.....you were brave and honest. The way she left without telling you us disguisting behaviour...like someone hanging up on a phone call...just rude! No one deserves that! I can imagine how u feel. She's a loser just for that!

 

You have support here :)

[WCSDancer2010]

@everyday_normal

 

The fact that she she took the cowards way out tells you a LOT about her. I tell people that H can act as your Wingman... showing you a person's true colors that you might not see for quite some time under normal circumstances... you may want to read the blog I wrote on that (link below) to understand what I am talking about

 

http://herpeslife.com/using-herpes-as-your-wing-man/

 

The girl has no integrity. If she did she at least would have contacted you afterwards to apologize if she just freaked and ran. But it sounds like she just plain didn't have the spine to say that H was a deal breaker for her.

 

Her actions are really nothing to do with you or Herpes....if it wasn't this, odds are something else would have come up where her inability to have an adult conversation would have caused heartache and pain.

 

(((HUGS)))

[ChanelChanel]

@everyday_normalguy, what she did was completely insensitive and wrong. Don't take it personal; sometimes things happen to test other people's character. She will reflect on how she did you when karma visits her. And trust me, Herpes just did you a favor bc had this not happened you would not have picked up as quickly that she would be willing to disregard your feelings like that. You should thank her. Hm. Even if she may have been scared, she could have been respectful of your feelings... I don't understand why people don't see that they could EASILY EASILY wear these shoes... as common as HSV is. (esp since condoms don't always cut it either).

 

She has pissed me off.. Anyway, back to what's more important... YOU.

 

You seem like a sweet guy. Please don't be down. Dating is never easy... and finding the right one is even harder, herpes or no herpes. We all have some fear. Just keep trying. I commend you for disclosing... The right one will come along.

 

STAY STRONG :)