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Did I Transmit Herpes to a Child Who Touched My Face?


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Posted

Twenty years ago, I had a spot above my lip that wouldn't go away. It was not your typical cold sore at all. I went to the dermatologist and he treated me for a yeast infection. Incidentally, I went to my regular doctor during this time and he said he thought it was herpes.

 

Back to the dermatologist I went and he tested me for herpes and I was told that I had it. I'm pretty sure it was hsv1. I don't remember being on medicine but the thing took forever to go away. I was working two jobs at the time and was probably worn down. Over the summer, I've had alot of hsv2 outbreaks. I get a burning on my skin before an outbreak and this has happened on my arm, leg and stomach.

 

At some point within the last so many months, I had an itchy spot on my face on the same side as the outbreak twenty years ago, but in a different spot but not on my lips. I wondered if it was herpes but since I wasn't dating, therefore not kissing anyone on the lips, I didn't think more of it. The itchiness came back, with a burning feeling, about 10 days ago or more. There is no outbreak whatsoever. The skin looks totally normal.

 

I'm upset because my niece touched my face and I immediately washed her hands but felt like a weirdo because there's nothing on my face for her to see. Later, she touched my face again. I felt like I would freak her out and make her cry if I made her wash her hands again so I didn't. I noticed she touched her mouth right afterwards. I have OCD and sometimes, I get paranoid about things. I tried to tell myself she would be okay.

 

When I saw her on Friday, she had a cold sore in the corner of her mouth.

 

I am feeling terrible. I never kiss my nieces on the lips because of the outbreak I had 20 years ago that never came back. I can't believe I didn't wash her hands. Do you think I am right when I think this is herpes on my face, even though there's no outbreak? I feel like a weirdo even saying it. There's nothing there. I'm pretty sure prodome is only supposed to last 2 or 3 days. This is ongoing.

 

I guess I am hoping that someone will say this is not herpes on my face and that it's not my fault that my niece has a cold sore. I had just started dating again and was majorly obsessing about kissing this guy and ruining his sex life and now I feel like I have ruined my niece's life. She's only 5. Help!

Posted

Hi GreenEyes! I remember talking on the phone with you a little while back. Good to see you on the forums. Welcome!

 

The truth is, there is no absolute way of knowing. The chances are slim, though. Everything in the medical literature says DIRECT skin-to-skin contact. That would mean the area of your lip that the cold sore shows up would have to touch your niece's lip directly where a break in her skin would allow the virus entry (whether you were having an active outbreak or virally shedding).

 

Good for you for taking precautions. You did your best. Don't beat yourself up about it. Your niece could have already had cold sores. She could have got it from her grandma kissing her on the lips. She could have gotten it from anyone who doesn't know you can pass cold sores from kissing. And you stressing out about it possibly being you who passed herpes won't do anyone any good. Being careful? Good. Being paranoid? Not so good.

 

So the short answer is: There's no way to know. The longer answer is: Based on all the stuff I've read and the experiences I've heard, it's highly unlikely that you passed it to her. The final answer is: Don't stress out about it. You did the best you can and will continue to do the best you can to protect other people from getting it. And guess what? 80% of people have oral HSV-1. Chances are quite high that most people will get it eventually. If you don't have it, you're in the extreme minority.

This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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Posted

Adrial, thanks so much for reading my long post and responding to it! You are the best! Yes, we did talk about me having a burning sensation on my arm, leg and stomach and I was worried that I was contagious from those areas. I was worried because my other niece had touched my arm. I love my nieces dearly and would never do anything to harm them. With having OCD since I was 19, I have a tendency to get paranoid about germs. Like I said, I won't even kiss my nieces on the lips because of an outbreak 20 years ago. I still don't know what's going on with my face now. My whole forehead feels funny. There's a bit of a stinging sensation going on there. I researched a weakened immune system, since I've had so many outbreaks of hsv2 this summer. So far, I have cut down on caffeine, started drinking alot of water, started eating more fruits and vegetables, started taking Echinacea and Olive Leaf Extract, and am working on exercising daily.

 

I am not working right now and do not have medical insurance or I would be going to a specialist. I haven't dated for 14 years and having just started, and then having these symptoms, is very distressing. I don't want to pass this on to anyone. I appreciate you saying that I probably did not pass this on to my niece. It is possible that she could have had a cold sore before she became a foster child but she's had a ton of colds and I think she would have had an outbreak during the last two years that I've known her.

 

I also have remembered an incident from the mid-80's where I performed oral sex on a guy that I had a crush on for a long time. A few days later, I had a spot on my tongue. It was oval and flat. I believe I went to the doctor. I don't remember anything else so I'm assuming it was nothing or maybe he said it was a cold sore but now I'm wondering if I have hsv2 orally. I've really been obsessing over all of this. I take medicine for OCD and depression. I even take an anti-psychotic drug because I got really bad a few years ago worrying about MRSA because a friend's son had it and worrying about a disease caused by fleas that made my kitten so sick I had to put her down. I was frantic about that.

 

Adrial, you give so much to this community. I don't think we can thank you enough. I am still thinking about the weekend retreat. I have a job interview today. Hopefully, I will be employed by the end of October and in a better position to drive to NC. Might have to get a rental car though.

 

I hope you are right and I didn't pass this on to my little niece. Have a great day!

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