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So many questions


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I feel like my doctors appointment earlier this week was a total fail. The more I think about it, the more I believe the doctor did not do as much as she should have to inform me of anything that I should know right away. I get they have to get my blood work back from the lab in order to better treat this wonderful skin condition I acquired. I'm sure a lot of this annoyance with her is coming from my fear, and my own internal annoyance but she never even asked if I had questions. I've made myself sick with worry the last few days. Reading articles online isn't helping me much either. Instant paranoia.

 

I figure asking here would be a pretty good place to start since I'm speaking to people who are in the same boat as I am, and most of you are rationally thinking about this. Right now I am not. Right not I am terrified.

 

- What is shedding? I've looked online and I see opposing things.

 

- What are the chances that this is my first outbreak and not something I've had inside me for awhile? I noticed the sores about 5-6 days post sex. The timeline adds up to this being when I contacted it but I'm so confused at how it works. I have had a baby and while logically I know my child doesn't have herpes, I'm so paranoid that it's laying dormant inside my child.

 

- How long do outbreaks last? I am so uncomfortable. I can't seem to find anything that is helping to ease the pain. What can I do to make it bearable?

 

- Do I really have to give up peanut butter? I can (and should) live without caffeine, and chocolate isn't that big of a deal either. Peanut butter though? That alone makes me depressed.

 

- What is the likeliness of it be passed on through non sex things? I'm talking about if someone accidentally touches a towel I've used, or the virus lingering around even after I've done laundry. I know this sounds like a silly question, trust me, I hesitated typing it out. My doctor (lovely, lovely woman) said not to let my child touch a towel I've used so he doesn't get it. That thought makes me sick to my stomach.

 

- How long did it take you to feel normal again? I'm a runner and I don't see how I can have that as part of my life because of how I feel right now. The pain is making me delirious lol. Also, dating? Feeling like having a social life again? Swimming? I just see everything in my life that I love not being a part of me again and I just makes me breakdown. I know some of this feeling is natural but how much of it? I feel like this fear, this guilt, this shame is consuming me.

 

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I'm sure a lot of this annoyance with her is coming from my fear, and my own internal annoyance but she never even asked if I had questions.

 

Sadly Dr's just plain dont' "get" how stressful Herpes is to people .... they understand the medical aspects and they see FAR worse things in their offices and they can't understand by people don't just say "Oh, really, is that all???" and go skipping out the door. They don't get the stigma that is already in people's minds because of the lack of information and the tons of Mis-information. That said, I still wanna smack them when I hear this because even if they don't get it, their job is to be empathic and answer questions and put your mind at ease :(

 

What is shedding? I've looked online and I see opposing things.

 

Shedding means that the virus is at skin level (ie, active) and can be passed to another person. It's not a guarantee that they will get it (a lot depends on the "viral load" or amount of virus being shed AND the other person's immune system, as well as where it comes in contact with the body). An outbreak is simply shedding on overload...so the body goes on full on attack and the blisters and tingling and such are a result of that.

 

What are the chances that this is my first outbreak and not something I've had inside me for awhile? I noticed the sores about 5-6 days post sex. The timeline adds up to this being when I contacted it but I'm so confused at how it works. I have had a baby and while logically I know my child doesn't have herpes, I'm so paranoid that it's laying dormant inside my child.

 

It sounds like a first OB and that you just got it...but unless you run an IGM (which most Dr.'s won't do because it's not always reliable...it tests for RECENT exposure) then you won't know for sure. And don't worry about your child - if they had it, you would know - babies have no immunity to it and it will come out very quickly after they are born. And don't worry, you can still have more children - I have had 2 with Herpes and they are just fine and in their 20's now ;)

 

Do I really have to give up peanut butter? I can (and should) live without caffeine, and chocolate isn't that big of a deal either. Peanut butter though? That alone makes me depressed.

 

Noone ever said give it up on here - just be aware it *might* be a trigger for you. If you find that every time you eat it, you break out, then you may have to cut back. I went through a spell where I reacted to it for 2 years ... now I eat it by the ton and I'm just fine.

 

What is the likeliness of it be passed on through non sex things? I'm talking about if someone accidentally touches a towel I've used, or the virus lingering around even after I've done laundry. I know this sounds like a silly question, trust me, I hesitated typing it out. My doctor (lovely, lovely woman) said not to let my child touch a towel I've used so he doesn't get it. That thought makes me sick to my stomach.

 

again, my kids never got it and I didn't even know about all this crap. I wouldn't rub your genitals then dry your kid off with it, but I doubt you would do that anyway. The virus will die very quickly outside the body. Just use any precaution you would about sharing towels that are being exposed to areas that are higher in normal bacteria that you might not want to "share" and you should be ok.

 

Sorry - gotta go...have an appointment - others will answer your other questions I'm sure but I;ll come back on later and fill in the gaps :)

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Thank you! You've been extremely helpful the last few days. I'm still just in shock and really confused at all the conflicting information out there. I'm really disappointed in my doctor. I'm sure I was too upset to process much, but her complete lack of offering any help aside from telling me to not let my kid touch towels I used was no help at all.

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Glad to help... and yeah - your Dr is typical of Family Dr's I'm afraid :(

 

How long do outbreaks last? I am so uncomfortable. I can't seem to find anything that is helping to ease the pain. What can I do to make it bearable?

 

Usually they last 5-8 days but again, varies a lot from one person to the next. There have been a lot of discussions on treatments on here so I'm going to give you the links to them. I have always used Ammonium Alum but it's not easy to get here (you might get it online...its cheap). Others do well with Epsom Salts Baths and other things.. I find if you can get it to dry up you are half way there.

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/#more-2122

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1802/going-the-natural-route

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1624/herpes-medication-genital-hsv-1-how-to-keep-herpes-outbreaks-clean-dry#Item_22 My discussion amonium Alum)

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1496/bathroom-time-

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2576/i-need-personal-storieshelpadvice-from-women-on-the-itching

 

How long did it take you to feel normal again? I'm a runner and I don't see how I can have that as part of my life because of how I feel right now. The pain is making me delirious lol. Also, dating? Feeling like having a social life again? Swimming? I just see everything in my life that I love not being a part of me again and I just makes me breakdown. I know some of this feeling is natural but how much of it? I feel like this fear, this guilt, this shame is consuming me.

 

Again, varies from one to another - some have one OB and never have another...some have many OB's for weeks or months. One of the biggest triggers is stress. So while it seems to be impossible, TRY to believe that you will learn about how to manage this and that life will be "normal" again one day...because I promise, it WILL be ;)

 

I've re-posted a lot of dating success story links on here several times in the last few days - I really suggest that you read as much as you can on here because there are TONS of people who are dating H- partners successfully. If you don't find one of the discussions with all the links, come back and I'll post them here. But just reading your way through a bunch of posts will help you to see that you WILL get better over time ....And yes, you CAN swim, and you won't pass it to everyone. Running might be a challenge some days while your body gets it under control but again, you will get that back soon. Be patient my friend... you haven't had this long at all. You need to support your body so it can do it's job of controlling the virus.

 

Regarding the guilt and shame... honey, let it go... Herpes has nothing to do with how "good" you are, how many partners you have had (many on here like me got it from their FIRST sexual encounter), color, age, social status, etc. Just try to guess who has it around you... 1 in 5 will and you will never know which ones they are...and of the other 4, a whole bunch will have had other STD's like HPV (the CDC says eventually EVERYONE will get one form or another), Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and Aids. At this point it doesn't matter how you got it.... it's about how you handle it from this point forward that counts..

 

(((HUGS)))

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