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Since I'm new here...


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I just wanted to share a little bit about me and my personal experience.


I was diagnosed in August of 2011. I had been in a committed relationship for over a year at that point. We had gone through some ups and downs. There was some suspicion of him cheating about 6 months prior to this happening and we had always been long-distance. One day these sores just showed up. No pain, no flu-like symptoms, no itching, burning, etc. Just sores.


It has always been my wish to have children and I have miscarried twice. So my sexual health has always been a priority in my life. About two days after the sores showed up I went to the hospital. I hadn't seen my significant other since before all of this ocurred and of course I was absolutely freaked out. They said it didn't look like herpes and that they would run some tests. No news is good news.


I called my boyfriend and of course he made it a priority to come into town for a visit. He was very supportive and reassuring to me. It really solidified something positive between us that he was there for me in that situation. But two weeks passed and I still hadn't heard from the hospital about my test results. No news is good news, right? Not so much. Me being the nosy Nancy that I am couldn't leave well enough alone. So I called the hospital just to confirm my test results. My gonorrhea and chlamydia tests came back fine... herpes test? Oh yeah, it's positive. The nurse who told me didn't even brace me for it. Just bluntly, plain as day "Here ya go!". And what else do I say at that point besides, "Thanks."?


I seriously thought my world was going to end. I was 28 years old and NOW I'm dealing with this? Forget about all the stupid things I did in my younger days. I couldn't figure out how this hadn't happened at an earlier point in my life. And how was my boyfriend going to respond? I'm sure everyone has a very similar experience of panic when this happens to them. Luckily, he reacted well. I think we had time for the idea of it to sink in which made the shock a little less. But he was absolutely wonderful about the entire thing. We have since split up, but are trying to work things out. He's been tested and is positive but asymptomatic.


I went to my regular OB/GYN after the diagnosis and discussed with her what to do. She, of course, said the hospital handled the entire thing in a very unprofessional manner. I mean... two weeks and no one had called me? She said not only should I never have had to call for my own test results but they are trained not to deliver that kind of diagnosis to a patient that way. She gave me a lot of helpful advice and information. She also said I should be very thankful. She said that I would still be able to have children someday if I chose to and that nothing about my day to day life had to change at all. I might have to take a tiny little pill. No big deal. She also said the best thing I could do was to arm myself with information.


I definitely did that. and I learned a lot. ESPECIALLY about the frequency of the virus and the nature of its hibernation periods. Risk factors, etc. I read a book called "The Good News About The Bad News" by a woman who has run an STD clinic in Oregon for over 20 years. It really REALLY helped.


Since then I have made it something personal about me. I'm not comfortable with it, or with telling anyone about it. My family and friends have no idea. And as of right now I don't intend for them to. It's just not something they don't need to know, I guess. I get better with it every day and I know that it doesn't make me less of a person. But I have to convince myself of that more than I have to convince anyone else. I keep looking for the positives in the situation and while they seem to be few, they do exist. The one thing that bothers me is not knowing where it came from. My boyfriend at the time maintains that there was never any infidelity in our relationship and honestly, I want to believe him. So is this something he had and didn't know that I magically avoided because we were long distance? Or had it been there the entire time in MY body just waiting for its opportunity? My doctor says there will never be any way to know.


To me, at this point, this is just one more minor annoyance that I have to naviagate. I'm beautiful, fun, extremely intelligent and a wonderful person. It's really not a big deal. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

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Thank you so much for your story. It's such a sneaky virus. You can never know when or how you got it and there is nothing to be gained by trying to figure it out. I am so sorry to hear how the medical staff handled telling you about it. The medical community really is not very knowledgeable or helpful, are they? I left my doctor with "you will give it to anyone you have sex with" and not so much as a pamphlet. I will look for the book you recommend. I have heard a few people say how helpful it was. Welcome to the site! :)

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  • 2 years later...

@Galvanisa as one of the posters said, it's pretty much a moot point to try and figure out where it came from, because I do see so often a male be unaware of his infection and the girl have a primary OB and I've also seen cheating. Only you can decide if he's right to give another go w.


I must say, I am very intrigued by your symptoms. I've only heard of one other girl who said she didn't have pain, but she was covered in ulcers and I couldn't Believe it and she said just a little discomfort, but not really. I was shocked, she looked worse than I did. I don't feel like the sores huet me too much, it was tender, but the itching was insanity and of I had any pain really from sores, it was overrode by the severe neuropathy that I developed, alas, I hear girls stating it's the worst pain of their life, but for me the sires wretnot that bad, it was the neuropathy. They didn't have neuropathy, but found the sores extremely painful. Just goes o show how crazy this virus is and how different our bodies react.


How long did it take to clear for you? Have you had any recurrent obs since? So glad you missed out on just how painful it can be.

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