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Welcome to 2014 with Hsv1

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Hello everyone, let me first applaud you all for your bravery. I am newly diagnosed female living with hsv1(from all appearances genitally). I have done so much research via my doctor and the Web but have many questions that don't have straight forward answers to, hopefully someone can help. Here is a little back story on me. I was in a relationship for about a month before I had my first genital ob. It started out with a small cut (later found out is called a fissure) and a slight knot at the base of my vagina. My partner and I assumed he tore something due to previous rough sex. well after a few more days the pain of the cut got worse and then there were 2 more cuts, so I went to the drs and sure enough it was herpes at the time didn't know what type so I went to my gyn to get rechecked and she tested for type and it was type 1. unfortunately my bf was to scared and never got tested we broke up about a month after the diagnosis he swears it wasn't that but we were never the same afterwards. casara sara. Anyways here are my questions.


I have read several places that initial ob's happen within 2 to 20 days of exposure. So how likely was it that I got it from him through oral sex (FYI previous 2 relationships one for 18 years no symptoms, the 2nd 3yrs no symptoms, this guy all of a sudden symptoms, a tad coincidental to me) also had just been tested in April of last year we had sex for the first time in November, first symptoms January.


second question. I have had 2 ob's since my initial which was horrible and lasted for a month. one mild about 2 weeks after and now one mild currently which leads to my question. it appears my ob was brought on by sex. this is my first time since and the very next day ob. will this happen every time I attempt sex?


third if hsv1 doesn't like to live in the vaginal area why am I only having ob's there, not that I mind because I speak in public as part of my job so a cold sore would not be good. but will I always have vaginal ob's?


fourth how many ob's of hsv1 genital happen in yr 1?


fifth how can I recognize a ob or shedding? I feel like although the ob's are vaginal my lips always tingle always! I'm constantly in the mirror checking to see if a cold sore is coming. it's so troubling.


final question my partner does not have hsv1 or 2 if we have unprotected vaginal and oral sex without any symptoms present what are his chances of getting hsv1 or 2. I ask because Saturday we had unprotected sex and he did go down on me. i didn't on him but as I said literally the next day I had a small ob. Unfortunately we were drinking and let our defenses down. I feel really guilty about it at this point.


thank you so much for your time!


And best to everyone!

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I'd say you probably did get it from your recent boyfriend. It seems to fit the pattern.


OB triggers vary from person to person. Some people report that sex triggers theirs; but not all. A good rule of thumb: slow it down, lube it up, take it easy. At least for the first year until your body gets fully acclimated to your new virally enhanced bloodstream.


How many ob's? Good question. Again, it varies. Some people have one, and then never have another. If you notice a continued pattern, you might want to go on suppressive therapy to keep it under control.


Shedding? That's tough. You'll usually feel a prick or a tingle when you shed. If you notice that, you're probably shedding. It's one of the hardest things to track, and you'll just have to learn your body's way of telling you "Hey, you're shedding!"


Unprotected sex always carries a greater risk of transmission, especially if you're not on antivirals. Wrap it up before you let him tap it up. Also, having HSV1 or 2 puts you at greater risk for other STD's. This is because it opens up wounds that make it easy for them to get inside you...make darned sure you've been tested for everything before you go that route. If your boyfriend already has HSV1, there's no risk of transmission, but the only way to know is for him to get tested.




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First - Glad you found us!!!


So, quick answers to a lot of questions:


1) If you were H- in April and the actually TESTED for H1 and H2 then (you may or may not have been tested for herpes - most STD tests don't include if if you don't ask) then I'd say it's a pretty safe bet you got it from him. He may well have the HSV1 oral andnot know it - 80% of carriers don't know they have it :(


2) Not necessarily ... BUT, everyone is different. You are in the first year so your body is fighting it off and building antibodies so it will take less to trigger an OB at the moment. It sounds like you are having sex...so have you told your partner that you have H1?


3) yes, wherever you acquired it is where it will stay unless you manage to transfer some of the virus to the other area in the first couple months of having it (which is rare)


4) No way to give you a number ... everyone experiences this differently. However, H1 isn't as home in the south so it won't *usually* be as bad... but you have to help it along. Reduce stress, try to figure out what triggers you like foods, clothing, hormones/periods, and activities and reduce them as much as possible. AND, over time, you may find that you are ok with some things that triggered you previously.


5) How to recognize an OB? Time and experience ;) Over time you will freak out less at every little tingle and will just *know* that you are in prodrome/shedding. Given that you seem to have it vaginally it's pretty safe to assume that you don't have it orally ... a *small* percentage get it in both places ... so just learn to be aware of your body without over thinking it (counter-intuitive, I know, but you will get there!)


6) So again, does your partner know you have H? We really try to get people to be honest with their partners on here because most of us got it from someone who either lied or was blissfully ignorant. And make sure he KNOWS he's been tested, because again many believe they have been tested when they actually not been tested thanks to the current testing protocols


Also,are you on Anti-virals??? I would suggest you go on them for at least a year if you are in a partnership both to let your body acclimate and reduce your chances of shedding/OB's. If you are still together and he is ok with the risk of getting it (about 2-3% without anything for HSV1 genital) then its your choice. But in the first year your body is getting used to fighting it off so I would take the meds for awhile until things settle down,esp as you seem to be getting OB's after sex.


Odds are he will be ok - but you need to talk to him about HIS feelings about the risks (and given that 80% of the population has H1, he should understand that he's likely been exposed and will be again if he's out in the dating world) and whether he wants to use condoms etc to reduce his risk.


Oh, and one more thing about condoms - if he doesn't want to be a Baby Daddy, tell him to Wrap It UP! Take it from a Grandmother of a beautiful little girl who was conceived on Birth Control ;)


I'm going to post a couple links below, but you really want to read your way around here and get familiar with the stats and info - and get the BF to read up on it too. Education is power! You can print out the handouts to refer to when you guys are talking.


(((HUGS))) - I'm a 35 yr veteran of both - so I can promise you that you will get used to dealing with it... and we are here to help you with that!






Disclosure e-book:



The FAQ's page is excellent for getting answers to your questions...everything you asked has been asked at LEAST once before ;)






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Words cannot express how grateful I am to you both and this site. I have been so devastated since the diagnosis, and it's very comforting to have a place to go to; especially because the doctors I've spoken with treat this like it's really no big deal since it's so common. Yes it may be common but I tell you I would rather be a part of the 20% any day! To answer your questions this was my first time having sex since the diagnosis. I had sex with a friend not a bf, we were out drinking, heavily, no excuse but it's what happen and no he didn't know, no one other than my ex knows. I'm actually otw to have the talk with him now. I feel really bad and I'm terrified but I know it has to be done. I'm very adult about this situation and never planned to have sex until I was in a commitment and heading towards marriage hopefully. I will definitely discuss with my gyn the suppressive therapy she didn't recommend because of the type, guess she too figured, no big deal.

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Good for you for cleaning that up ... you can explain to him that he's likely been exposed to HSV1 many times before ... and that there's a really good chance he already has it ... but he should get tested NOW so he knows for sure if he already has it, and if he is H1- ... in 4-6 months time to be sure.


And BTW, while you *should* have told him, if you were both drunk, you BOTH made an error of judgement because the "STD talk" should be done before any encounter ... serious or not ;)


Supressive therapy is more of a choice if you are not sexually active ... but if there is any chance of hook-ups in the future, it's the responsible thing to do


(((HUGS)) and good luck tonite


And PS: It's not your phone acting up ... it's something to do with the forum program ... it will look like it didn't send when it did...hence only hitting the post button once on new discussions :)


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Thank you, and the talk went wonderful. He grabbed me hugged me and told me it would be ok. Guess the fact that he is a substance abuse counselor and social worker helps; he is very compassionate. And you're right we should have been more responsible, but we weren't and here we are. I will definitely not make that choice again. Thank you so much for the information and advice! I feel so much more at peace....

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