Does anyone else get fed up with the pity/dumb reactions?

[Kath_R]

I was talking with a friend the other day and I casually mentioned I had herpes because, really, when amongst friends, I don't think of it as a secret or something I need to hide. And the response! He acted like I'd just told him I had a terminal illness, or had ruined my entire life or something!

 

"Wow, I'm sorry. That's probably going to keep 99% of anyone away, it's sad that that's how it is. That shit sucks for you!"

 

"Nope, doing alright. Thanks for the concern, I suppose..."

 

"Not that I mind talking to you! You're still a human being, but I'm sure a lot of people have stopped talking to you for it? A few girls in my high school got pregnant and some people stopped talking to them."

 

He wasn't trying to be mean when he said it, but ohhhh! When did I say I wasn't a human being? It's so aggravating! People like to make herpes the equivalent of getting pregnant at 16?

[notaquitter]

Wow, how old is your friend? Rethorical, cause it seems that he has not lived enough...so do not take other people's ignorance and inexperience as a fact...at the same time, don't judge them, cause you are in a more deeper and thourough level of awareness and understanding of life; however, try to surround yourself with people that have gone through more meaningful experiences in life as they can learn from you as much as you can learn from them...in regards to your question, I definitely got fed up with educating the ignorant...I just don't have the time to do so. Good luck!!

[Carlos]

I love this quote (below)... and it seems like meditating upon it might come in handy right about now. (forgive the heightened language)

 

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, surrounded by assholes." William Gibson (novelist)

 

Cheers queers ;)

[mr_hopp]

Hey Kath,

 

Yeah, it's interesting when that happens. That's a classic example of someone projecting all of their stuff onto you without even getting your experience at all. I haven't gotten that kind of projecting with herpes that much, but I have been getting it recently with my girlfriend and me breaking up. Without knowing any details of the situation (that we're actually better friends than ever, and are truly supporting each other and closer than ever), people project all sorts of horrible "breakup" scenarios onto me: "Oh, that's so rough. I'm so sorry to hear that. You must be so sad." It's amazing what can happen instead of projecting onto someone else our own stuff, we simply ask, "How is that for you?" A great reminder for me, too.