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shit just hit the fan

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soo my ex bf just snapped... hes threatening to tell everyone in the world via wonderful fb about my hsv 1.. he doesnt like the way things have gone between us and is now super pissed off and taking it out on me.. yeay me.. im about to explode because im beyond mad... but at the same time let him.. someone will flag his ass on fb and will get him kicked off.. but that'll just suck... may i add im ok with having hsv 1 now.. still sucks because ive never "disclosed" yet to anyone "new" and i duno how to/ how that'll go. and i wasnt planning on telling the world.. but hes making it seem worse than it is.. im telling him im not phased becase i know its just a skin condition/ rash and hes snapping and asking whether the guy who gave it to me told me that and just all this shit... and saying its so much worse than that blah blah... lots of fun... this situation is 10x worse than im making it seem.. its hard to fill u guys in on the extent via msging... anyways just wanted to put that out there... some virtual hugs would be great right about now.. thx

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It sounds like he's trying to drag you into his neurosis/stigma/shame ... What a guy! And if he does post to Facebook, that shows a whole lot more about the kind of person he is than anything about you. And yes, for the people who read it and don't know you AND believe the hype of the stigma AND don't make their own minds up about others, their opinion of you might change. But for all of those people whose opinion isn't swayed by another person, those people who truly KNOW who you are (not some simple label of "some woman with herpes"), their opinion of you won't be swayed in the slightest. It's a rough thing to happen if you're not ready to be "outed," but it may be a blessing in disguise, to let all those people who you don't want in your life anyway fall away, so the people who are open-minded and know that herpes or another person's opinion can't change who you are will stick around and still love you.


And FYI, I "came out of the herpes closet" on facebook a while ago by my friend posting something about me (not maliciously). It was actually tremendously freeing, as if a weight had lifted from my shoulders. Here's the post on that:



You know, this also reminds me of a recent post here where I tell the story of the guy who was outed live at his high school reunion:


Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well if he sends that fb message out , we will just have to have adrial send one of his podcasts lol about the stigma behind herpes out to everyone who receives the message from your facebook and it would make your ex feel like a real dumbass hope all is well dhpink and keep your head up and dont let it get u down

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Let him do it pink and look at it that he is giving you the opportunity to shine...to respond with dignity and authentcity - it'll be egg on his face and you will gain alot of respect (even if people don't say it). Whatever he puts out don't buy into the game..if you have to respond do it with kindness and without anger...be the kind of person thatever negative thing someone says about you no one will believe them!


Yes keep your head up and I'm sending you bucketloads of hugs...it will all be ok and remember to shine :-) x



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