I had the herpes talk and it didn't end well

[damagedgoods]

So I was talking to this guy I have liked him for a long time. I recently found out I have hsv 2. Since I had known him for so long I thought he would understand better, because he knew me before all this. To say the least he is uneducated as most people are on this topic. And I waited a couple of weeks before I told him because I wanted to make sure it was going somewhere. Its not like I want to walk up and say hey I have hsv want sleep with me. At first he said it was cool and then he threw it in my face later when we were in an argument. Saying I was keeping secrets and I neglected to tell him. Anyhow I just want some advice on how others have handled thia situation.

[misskellyrenee]

People show you who they really are in a crisis. If someone, whether it be a friend or a lover, takes off when you really need them, then what does that say about their part in your life?

When it comes to determining someone's part in your future, try to observe how they treat you when you are wrong. Are they understanding and supportive or do they rub a victory in your face, throw out low blows, take pleasure in you being wrong?

You need to have a serious talk with the guy. This time, don't mince words. He has zero reason to mistreat you because of this and you do not deserve being shamed AT ALL for it, regardless of how long you waited to tell him. You did the responsible thing of telling him before you slept together. He can stay or he can go, but treating you this way is absolutely not an option. If he can't keep those emotions in check by communicating with you, then this guy isn't for you.

[damagedgoods]

Yes! I have to agree. This is not the first time I had to have the talk. But at least with the first guy he was straight forward and said he couldn't deal with that. I respected him for that. But it's hard to open up to someone knowing that your putting your business out there. He did the ultimate betrayal and used it against me.

[Judith]

Yup Misskellyrenee is absolutely right, this guy is NOT the one for you. You haven't keep any secret from him , you only waited till you felt good to tell him. Sure he can say that he don't wane deal with H but it have to be in a different way.....his reaction only showed that he is not the guy for you or not the guy you thought he was....in the first moment it felt probably really hurtful but the herpes filter gave you a really good look at him , something you wouldn't have seen in first place without H :)

one day we all will find somebody supportive, at least I hope for and a lot of stories on that website showed that its possible :)

wish you a good day , forget about that guy .

Judith

[damagedgoods]

Thanks for the support. I guess having hsv does kinda filter out the dbags. Cause if you really do care and like me for me then what I have shouldn't matter. I'm just waiting on that someone I guess.

[Judith]

Well we all wait for this someone, even without H :) one day it will happen

[WCSDancer2010]

So you just learned the lesson of why Herpes can be your Wingman ... because it often helps us to see people for who they really are... his "throwing it in your face" is dirty pool and just plain ugly behavior and I for one would not tolerate that behavior for one minute ... he'd be out on his ass that evening :p

 

Check out these links to help you see how H can help you FIND love by getting rid of the jerks much faster ;)

 

http://herpeslife.com/using-herpes-as-your-wing-man/

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think (Herpes Wingman example Mazedaze818 )

 

(((HUGS)))

[damagedgoods]

Thanks for the support. This is what my friend was saying to me. It's just nice to hear it from others.

[domh21]

I completely agree with misskellyrenee

 

and love the making H your wingman

 

It's true. I think I overlooked people not being there for me in crisis but having H made me open my eyes even more. It wasn't the mere fact of having H but it could be any hard time you are facing and these people pull excuses and or leave because they just can't be there for you.

 

Also maybe we could find a cool new name for you because honey you are not damaged goods even if that's how you feel. We have all felt that way but nope you are definitely not you are pretty amazing :)