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He broke up with me, herpes had nothing to do with it.

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Awww @Mel_b ... (((HUGS)))


So here's the thing. HE left you ... so it's easier for him to move on faster. AND, he likely will have a "rebound chick" anyway, because that's what guys often do ... they ignore the fact that they need time to re-set and use dating as a way to "forget"... because even when you leave a relationship for all the "right" reasons, you still need time to re-group. AND, you can't make him behave ethically in his dating ... you made a request that he disclose to anyone in the future and you can't do any more.


As for you, well, you are dealing with the pain of Rejection ... it's a powerful thing that is in part a primordial reaction that goes back to a time when we as humans needed to congregate together to survive, and we as females needed a provider and protector for our children. The unscrupulous use this reaction to keep people attached to them or their group ... even Religious groups use it through Shunning and Shaming to ensure people stay away from other influences and follow the "rules". So just know that this is a natural reaction and it has NOTHING to do with H. And you can learn from it and grow from it... since I have come to understand this better, I've found break-ups to be FAR less traumatic and upsetting (tho still sad, but that's a whole different, and healthy, reaction). I'm posting a few links below for you so you can understand it better.


And you know what ..... Good for him for ending it if he really didn't feel he was on the same path as you. It's tough now but better than staying together either because of H, or guilt, or because it just sucks to start over. And I hope he will let you stay in contact with the kids ... you can be "Auntie Mel" and still be in their lives.


As for dating ... well, you need to read a bunch of the success stories on here. You are in no way "deceiving" anyone when you start dating ... we ALL have stories, baggage, hurts, and secrets and some WILL be deal breakers for another when we reveal them. And you are right - take your time and don't rush ... go at YOUR speed. As I said, HE left YOU ... and the "leave-ee" is always the one who has a longer healing process...


Read these links and let them sink in ... so you know that right now, you are having a perfectly NORMAL reaction and that H has very little to do with any of it ... you're in the healing phase of a break-up, and it's just something you have to ride out my friend ;)




http://herpesopportunity.com/podcasts/Herpes-Opportunity-Never-Rejected.mp3 (adrial)


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Yep - sometimes you got to get someone out of your life to make space for someone better ... far better to not be in a relationship that's going nowhere ... there's nothing worse that being lonely when someone is lying right beside you :(


Take your time healing ..... (((HUGS)))

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